for the sake of it

winter break is over.

I bought a Beatles notebook as my travelling journal.

And so this time I went to San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles, Grand Canyon and Las Vegas. I have no complains at all. Although I somewhat think I became a different person after the trip, simply because the companions I had this time.

All this while, I pretty much have been travelling with people of similar interest as I am; however, my buddies this time have different interest and of course, different personalities. I do appreciate these differences because it actually allows me to explore other options. It feels like liberating yourself in a way, because at times I do feel like stucked just in one view without any other options to discover. Now I know sometimes grass is always greener over the other side :) And because I can read ur mind, I know u r asking yourself what am I talking about right now...

Easy.

When I travel, it is always one big luggage, a fancy handbag, fancy jacket if I needed one, everything with glitz and glam cause that is how I want to portray myself. I do not like to get "in touch" with anything less than that. Having said so, no offence, but I like to sleep comfortable and so yeah, fancy hotel too laahhh.

Tapi, that's just me. I can't be "that" person when I take into account my other friends. Since I am somewhat kedekut too, I agree to stay at hotel biasa; although I managed to convince my friend to stay at NYNY in Las Vegas :)
To say the least, I am very impressed witht the hotels we stayed in SF and LA. It was a lot better than NYNY. To me, NYNY is a bit overrated with its exterior and all that leaves the so-called awe impression when actually the facilities are crappy. No internet? Can u imagine that? Even the 2 cheap hotels provided internet. Huge dissapointment. I felt bad for choosing this hotel lol. (just cause it is soo New York)

Maybe u don't know this about me, but I'm a control freak. I don't control people, so dont worry dudes. I control myself. I think I like the sense of having control over things. I just dont mind if I have to plan everything, not at all. Because in doing so, I know things and somewhat "have control over them". I talked to my friends before we left, apparently, they just say "ahh, itu nanti2 pon boleh buat, every night plan pon boleh". That is not how I roll, but what the hell. In the past 2 winter breaks, I decided where to go weeks before the holiday. Haha. Call me a freak, I would totally understand. This time, it's different. I can feel the differences, like totally. I just "let go" of being a control freak and let things just flow as nature intended. My oh My how that creeps me out at first, but I have faith in these people. And yes, I enjoyed everything that we planned last minute, like San Diego! It was not on our agenda, but sure glad that we went there cause that is the reason we got to stop at Laguna Beach and enjoy the beautiful sunshine by the beach! This time, I didnt become the human-GPS, instead Nasri and Mubeen became the GPS. It felt awkward relying on people to find directions cause I normally would do it myself. I guess it is by default that they will take that role (?) cause they are guys...this sounds a lil sexist, oh well.

Then again, due to the odd number of travellers (5 people), there is a tendency that people stick 1-2-2, 2-3 or 1-1-3 at times. And I sometimes become that 1 person to be walking alone. Not gonna complain, because that moment of solitude got me to think a lot. It gives me some clarity to ponder on myself, especially on the person I'm turning into. How far I've gone to become me today, somebody people like to view as dateenz la, paris la, ape laa kan. I've gone far. I've made a remark during the trip about who I was in the past, and a friend said, "what happened along the way?". If I have to pick a time, I would say Taylor's changed me, because I know I'm gonna meet new people, strangers that do not know my existence before. I see it as an opportunity to become that person I actually want to be. How far can I go? I can't answer, because somewhere in me right now feels not good. It doesn't feel fake altogether, but part of it does. The problem is, I care too much what people has to say about me and lose my own stand. Anyways, no regrets aite? I still care what ppl say, that's just me.

I think so far, u got my msg. How different this time is. I like it a lot, despite feeling a little vulnerable saying all these things. I do have some observations on my fellow companions, and I bonded with them based on that observations. What I like about them is they don't restrict themselves when they want to say or do smthing. I restrict myself, nmpak macam innocent. So yeah, some of their talks I could get lost in translation. But I gotta give them credits for just say they wanna say and do whatever they wanna do. Sure there are some boundaries, but somehow, I just don't care. Again, keeping myself a little grounded somewhat sounds too old too. Kite kan dah mature, so ape2 buat pon with responsibility laa kan, smthing we all shud have known.

Insights yang tak detail siap satu utk korang bace...This post is weak, I know without any examples or evidence, but I just chose to keep it that way. I feel too vulnerable already...

on Vacation

winter break is over.

I bought a Beatles notebook as my travelling journal.

Here are some pictures:

Old Tram

Union Square - where we chillin' every night

Hehe. I'm not a serious photographer....

Clam chowder break at Fishermen Wharf

On a cruise around the bay, overlooking the golden gate bridge

Houses in Haight Ashbury area.

Hippie town. I love this place! One of my many unexpected excitement

Haight Ashbury has so many murals! and they are gorgeous!

Girly girls at Laguna Beach!

View from Santa Monica beach. As u can see, rain is coming!!

Mubeen + Sarah and sunset

To universal studio, hollywood.

the nyanyi2 session.

-I must say Universal Studio, Orlando is way way better than Hollywood-

Chinese Grauman's Theather.

Rodeo Drive! The ala2 fifth avenue of LA. this is close to Beverly Hills.

So u can expect expensive shops. The one shop that I might afford is Guess. haha

Alang-alang dekat kat sini. I was so much into taking a photo ala a fashion spread...

and mubeen jadi male modelku...haha

tak jadi dongggg....huhu. i need a mirror i think...

Second day di rodeo drive....cuba lagi gamba ala fashion spread.

tandas vaining session....

cuba lagikk....

Muholland Drive....

the scenic grand canyon. finally, i was there! i've been learning bout it all this while!

4 org je...sarah balek kereta cos tak tahan sejukkk

mandalay bay vegas...

the mirage...

Luxor!

credit pictures to Linda, Sarah and Nasri. thanks korang.
Happy New Year korang...

Later for that

Before anything, tadaaaa, how do u like my new header??
The pictures pretty much sum up who I am.
What can u tell about me when u see those pictures? I say, if u know me very well, u can answer that question rather easily.

I'm planning on changing my background as well, but as of now I can't find one that I like yet. U gotta bet that I'm the MOST indecisive person ev.er. and in consistent for that matter too! I changed my header so many times already, and yet, I hardly post anything~

_________________________ . ..... . . . . ... .. . .. .... . ......

I'm not gonna pretend that I'm still that young kid that does not have to worry anything "too serious", I actually have to start thinking about responsibility of being an "actual adult". I still want to live my la-la-la land and just push away any serious decision. Later I know, it gets back to me sooner than I thought.
I was awaken today by my cousin. She said, I got to know some stuff because I'm the eldest in my family. That hits me big time. Yes, I'm the eldest, and so, I bear that first child responsibility that I bet millions others are bearing as well. Little that I know, that is serious biz. I was so happy talking to her that I dont realise it at that moment. Since the conversation minutes ago, it got me. I'm actually an adult and I have to know so many things, and decide on so many things. I may not have to do it now, but it is not that painful to start think about it. Life has a way to just spring to u unexpected decisions, questions and d.ra.ma. I do not wanna be a naive grown up that thinks she've seen a lot that she knows how to make sense of everything. It is not a huge dilemma, but I'm still trying to find myself. Who am I? What defines me?

I thought I've found my place in this world, but given the 21 years I was in it, I may not even have left any markings yet, not even a tiny one. The real question is, where do u find all the answers to such questions? I simply think u can't. Please don't tell me, it's up to me to find it. It is very cliche, and I hate repetitive things. I wrote, in my other diary, what defines me...and I came up with just 2 things, mainly what I enjoy doing. Err...that does not go so well. Maybe somebody can describe me, either positive or negative. I can take it. Grass is not always greener over the other side. I totally got it if somebody is holding a grunge on me. But if they do, not like they gonna read my blog eh?

*Sigh*

I'm gonna leave my so deep inner thoughts just like that. hah. Talking bout responsibility....lol.
Honestly, I'm not ready for that yet... there will be a time where I will ready. U'll see. I'll make the announcement.. haha

Well, happy holidays y'all. Hopefully I'll come back with so many nice pictures and show them to u!

buku panggil mai mai

since when does my blog got so lame? i cant recall...

i rarely updated my blog this semester cos i was a total mess.... a total hot mess. now that it's the exam week, i decided to give my blog a few thoughts. farisa is such a weirdo during exam times. worst part is, i have an exam tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. i should be studying, but my brain couldnt take it anymore and i gotta stop and write somewhere else, other than my notebook!! damn im very scared for the 2 exams left. they are by far the toughest courses i've ever taken. the reading was so intense that i sometimes end up singing while reading...(err....)

u see, i cant actually contain myself anymore from the excitement of my winter holidays! it's gonna be aMaZinG!! despite that, i still have a few more arrangement to do! talking about a hell of a busy semester! i'm already planning what to wear at each city, giloss kan?? haha

oh, i wanna give u a buzz...guess whatt dawg? i just bought a ticket to see freakingly amazing Britney Spears in Toronto for her Circus tour! ahhhhhhhhh! that will be my highlight for next year! and it's in March....somewhat close to my bday, so i can pretty much call it my early bday gift for myself. haha.

all i can think of right now is, how am i gonna save money? lol. that ticket cost me 150dollars (gedik beli front seat) and u cant blame me..huhu i grew up listening to her songs, of course i wanna see her up close. izzy and i were actually considering to buy the VIP tickets. haha. tak beli pon cos that would be 500 bucks. takpe, ini pon utk balas dendam tak pegi tgk spice girls early this year! bengong ticket habess....

korang jgn jeles plakkk :D PCD is the opening act. haha

later gators, buku panggil "mai mai, mai sini"

i can write 2000 words in 1 hour....dlm diary lahh

why is it so hard to finish a paragraph.

sigh

I'm writing an essay right now for my Dynamic Earth class.

I'm writing about convergent plate margin which account to why we get :

- explosive volcanoes such as Mt St Helen and Mayon

- deep and shallow earthquakes

- big, tall mountains such as Mt Everest.

It is a 10 pages essay. Right now I have another 3 pages to go, and I seriously don't know if I have enough material left to fill in the 3 pages. Damn it

Ok, balek menulis karangan panjang! 

p/s: saye kalah pertandingan photography. haha. Neil Banerjee banyak menang. Oz pon menang. Of course laa menang kalau gamba dekat Arctic. hoh. saye gamba kebun uncle saye je :P Even Simon pon menang! sigh. Simon pon hanta gamba Arctic. 

today in a few paragraphs~

I've been very slow with my blog. I never felt so occupied all the time. This year is very jumbled up! I can't blame anyone, or anything, it's freaking third year! I am expected to be busy! and for the record, I am!

haha. what an intro.

Today, I feel proud of myself for so many reasons
The foremost is I spent significant hours in the library studying. This has become my new habit since last week. lol. Last week was my first time to study in Weldon Library since I've been here, but last week was just for an hour. If not cause of hunger and headache, I would have stayed there longer...I'm proud of myself (giving myself a pat)
This is to prove that I'm not a lazy bum. And whom am I trying to prove to? errr...myself.

Today, I went to see my lecturer to ask him some stuff that I dont understand. I asked him in class first....he said bla bla bla....and he touched my head. Fine.
And later I went to see him again in his office to clarify few more stuff...And he freaking touched my head again. I find that weird, cause he is the lecturer! Well, not that I care, just plain weird.

Today, J is looking damn fine. Super Fine. and super hawt too! I was walking (+ talking), with my lecturer (same dgn yg atas) and I bumped into him. I ignored my lecturer to talk to J. Haahaha..sorry cikgu. Cikgu then talked to M who was with J at that time. hohoho. And M told me to go to the colloquium...cause it's supposed to be fun.

So,

Today, I went to my first colloquium ever at UWO! Shame on me! Went there alone, without Izzy whom I parted since 9.30am. I sat at the back, cos sitting at back is supposed to look cool. And the room started to be filled with old lads and unfamiliar faces. I told to myself, damn what am I getting myself into! Finally, when it is almost the time for the talk, few familiar faces walked in, including J. yea, they sat at the back. This proves my claim that sitting at the back is cool. Only old profs sat in front. The talk was fun. Ian, Sam and sape tah were talking bout their trip to Cyprus. And another 3 were talking bout their trip to Cornwall, UK. This is all part of the International Field Camp Program. Listening to their stories make me all pumped up! If possible, I want to join the program next year. Guess where they are going next year??
Freaking Portugal and SPain! Damn, I have to go on that trip! Mahu mahu, no matter what it costs me to! Well, partly it is funded, so I might pay just a lil. But I also have my dreams to go to Arctic next year. ah, I have so many things in mind, so many places to go, all I can ask for is pls, can I have more time here!

yeah. itu sahaja for today. right now, I am still hungry and headache!
bye

Feel this

this is the title of the song i'm currently listening to on my freaking new iPod touch! haha. i'm pretty psyhed with it! lolz. and i gotta make a correction, i do have to pay tax for this iPod, it just said in the email, but not when i paid for it. bummer. damn i hate canada for its tax!

"Feel this
Can you feel this
My heart beating out of my chest
Feel thisCan you feel this
Salvation, under my breath"

in the coming weeks, let me bet on one thing, we will all be pretty much damned. this is all thanks to the upcoming final exam. i can already feel the intensity. i have not start anything yet....and i'm scared. i'm quite behind in many courses....and i have to "thank" GIS for that. GIS took away my whole weekend! it's just cause there is a probability of a pop quiz on monday, so, i have no choice but to study. let alone, this gives no time for me to study for other courses. luckily i took 4 courses this semester, so i can actually breathe a little bit. i know most of us are in the stress mode now, but i must say...dont be. exam is one thing, but stressing out? nah, not worth it. i just wanna to try to relax and just go with the flow. i dont plan out my itinerary for everyday, that's just to remind me, but in the end of the day, i just do what i want.

however, this might sound contradicting from i said above...but, i get stress out by one particular thing. stress and annoyed! but more to the annoyed part. and this has nothing to do with school but it is about a person. serious budak ni me"stress"kan saye...and org lain skali, i think. konsep i dont know ini mineral ape dah tak patut wujud di dalam kamus anda kerana anda sudah tahun keempat. k fine, i pon lupa most of the mineral....but how quartz, plagioclase looked like dlm batu adelah unacceptable!

saye tahu die kawan saye, tp saye tak suke die terlalu bergantung kepada saya dlm hampir SEMUA perkara. semua hal peribadi die pon nak bagitau dan sibuk tanye my point of view which saye pada asalnye tak kisah pon utk berikan. tp asyik bangkang semua yg saye ckp: sy pon malas lerr nak layan enkau dahh. i know some ppl have their own view on some issues, and who am i to say it's wrong, but it gets very annoying if ur p.o.v is absolutely absurd and i feel the need to correct it.

berbalek kpd issue bergantungan. saye suke keje alone, kalau bukan alone, keje in pairs or trios. tp keje pon bincang bukan terus tanye jawapan kawan saye. kite ckp laa ape kite fikir, then kite bincang. tp saye mmg pantang kalau org terus tanye jawapan and tiada usaha sendiri dahulu. masa fieldtrip hari tu pon, kami je yg buat peta n all...die tiru ape kami ckp (ape tgh bincang)...tak bother pon nak tanye nape kami fikir gitu or like at least, tanye laa explanation kalau tak paham. ni tiru je. dan saye tak suke konsep saye tgh tulis, die buleh pegi alih tangan saye utk tgk ape saye tulis....ape kejadah....and, org tgh work on one question, lets say question 2 on page 2....jgn laa tetibe dtg (dari meja lain) dan terus flip muka surat lain. double ape kejadah. dah laa tanye soalan org tak buat....ape kejadah lagi. damn smlm hot giler diri ini. itu ade lah my added stress...tidak melampau utk saye katakan: saye nak ignore die dah pasni. biar lahh saye nmpak jahat or kuang ajar ke ape ke...eden tak rase kehilangan pon kalau die tak kawan ngan saye. haaa, jahat tak jahat...
plus die dah buat kenyataan ini:

"saye tak yah pon amik geology ni, so saye tak yah laa berusaha sekeras korang"

that is bull-schist!
dah takyah amik, buat pe amik! the way die ckp tu, mmg laa nada joke, tp the bitterness of those words go straight to my heart. it's like, korang berusaha keras ah, cos die tahu kitorang kene maintain some average....pastu aku tiru ar. tak paham tanye je...tak yah berusaha pon sebab korang mesti tahu jawapan. ade esemen minggu depan kene hanta, die dah call byk2 kali ajak buat same2. yea right, saye nak buat sndiri. if die call, saye dah nak honest ngan die and ckp awak buat sndiri supaya awak tahu sndiri utk final nanti. itu sy nak ckp...if die call laa...

tp, ape korang rase? ni baru sebahagian stress yg diberikan oleh 1 insan kepada saye.
damn i hope i dont look evil with my decision.
hah. it is the righteous thing to do.

dah arhhh nanti korang sama stress.

in a month and few days, I wil be damn happy. at least for 2 weeks

The downfall of neglecting ur blog is: once u get all pumped out to write your story after that long break, u just don't know where to start! which story to tell first and what not.

That is me now. Damn u 4 labs this semester. I took 4 courses this semester on the hopes that I can concentrate more on watershed hydrology since people are giving me bad comments about that class. Apparently I do not realise that I chose all 4 courses that all has labs. One big sigh!

I know one for sure that I wanna write first. It's a must-tell thing!
Well, winter break is approaching AND I'm pretty sure you are all very excited! That long break (err...) where we can just chill out and spend the money we've saved for so long.
I psyched! that's for sure. Althought I still have to bare in mind that I had to suffer final exams! My schedule this year is bad. I had exams on 8th, 9th, 12th and 13th of Dec. Shish. I was hoping for more gaps between exams.
Back to my excitement...this winter break, I decided to split up with Izyan and teamed up with Nasri, Linda, Mubeen and Sarah. This is my first time ever going on vacation without Izyan. I think it's gonna feel a lil weird.

So, here's the plan: San Francisco, Los Angeles, Grand Canyon and Las Vegas!
I know u are thinking, can I fit all 4 places in 2 weeks. Yeah we can! And pls tell me you are jealous even when u r reading this. haHa.
I've bought my tickets last night. The price was good. I managed to get a ticket from Detroit to SF for only CAD180. That's freaking cheap! but when I added the cost for shuttle from London, it is still good though. Always I would totally go with bus if I know how to get to the airport from Greyhound station. And the return ticket from Las Vegas to Toronto is CAD300. That's ok lahh for 1st January. We are leaving very late at night, so we can still use up the day to jalan2. I'm pretty happy with the price. Who would not when u spend only CAD480 on tickets to those place, considering they are really far from here.
Right now, we are figuring where we are staying bla bla bla. We are probably staying in hostels! If so, that will be my first time ever to sleep in hostel while on vacation. shish. I really wanna stay at proper hotel actually, well cos that's just me. However, if u rationalize it, why spend ur money on hotels when u r not even gonna be there during the day? instead, use that money to go shopping! haha, more sensible eh~!!

next story: semalam i went to my first ever "real" party (bday party dulu2 tak kira) here at UWO. and ape sy rasa? ah! saye telah membazir satu malam yg bahagia!
party itu sungguh menyedihkan ok~!! tpt sempit, org dtg tak ramai...kawan2 pon tak bercakap sesama sendiri...senyap je. music pon takde laa pasang kuat2. takde pon orang mabuk (Thank God)...shish too sad man, too sad. cikgu sorang dtg pakai costume ayam. adeihhh lawak ar. overall, sedih habes! maka tak nak ckp dah. luckily after that, kami pegi makan eskrem dekat marble slab creamery yg best gels. i had cheesecake icecream with cookie dough :) heaven~
tapi downtown mlm smlm, as expected penuh dgn mereka2 yg pakai costume. lawak2 pon ade. tp dah kalau name budak western....costume gile dasyat....sejuk2 getik ni leh nak jadi daisy duke. aww!! irrelevant....dah laa outdoor party kedengaran. pape pon, i couldn't care less about that...haha cos it's not my problem. And as Realplayer news and The Gazette predicted, many people are dressing up as Joker...some tak jadi sgt pon. but nice effort. I saw somebody dressed up as Sweeney Todd. He doesnt look that creepy dowhh.......

and, one more story lahh, and i should go to bed.
I bought an iPod touch tadi :) beli ikut website apple store canada.
saje je because nak that free engrave. lolz.
rupenye free shipping and NO tax. ah, I'm in joy this weekend
The phrase that I engraved I think is so strong and it just came out randomly as I was reading my GIS textbook. Who would knew eh... I love it. Nanti2 ler ckp ape die..

yea, tido time man. smlm dah tido lewat cos berdiscuss ngan kanak2 ni pasal trip. like 4 hours gitu bincang...crazeeee

the joy and the crucial

I just finished watching Gossip Girl! Oh boy, that was a good episode! I've always try to find a favourite character whenever I watch a show. Apparently, it was not until these few weeks that I know who is my favourite character in this show. No, it's not Ms Gossip Girl. I actually love Chuck Bass! Damn I think he's hot. haha, probably right now u r going all "ewww" but yeah, I love his character, and I might as well love Ed Westwick who is playing that character. I hate the way he dresses on the show (his style was supposed to be all classy and regal), but his bad-boy character really caught my *heart*. Having said that..., no, I'm not into bad-a** boys. Just this time, it's a special case. He proves to be very naughty n devil-ish (Ms Gossip Girl called him so), but he has his romantic and sensitive side which I kinda like. Lolz. Kuddos to him for acting it so well :)
Oh, as for the female character, I love Serena. Love her style, her hair, clothes (inspired by Kate Moss), handbags etc etc basically everything bout her. huh. And I want Serena to get back together with Dan! shish! <--my new kinda thing.

Enuf with the d.r.a.m.a I actually gotta study this weekend. As much as I hate it, I have to start getting serious. I was talking to Andrew today and he made me realise how much thinking and consideration I have to make as I enter 4th year. The worst part is, I gotta start NOW! For one thing I know, I have to find a prof to become my mentor. This is for my thesis. As of now, I'm still clueless as to what I wanna do for my thesis. I thought of doing sedimentary, but Andrew said it's like too much core logging interpretations, not so much of the seismic interpretation which I love. I do have an interest in what Neil is doing. He is one hell of bright prof. He is researching on the first life on Earth could "born" at hydrothemal vents. Interesting, but Neil is a bit strict. However, I like his style. He pushes people to do work and sometimes extra work, which I like. So, I don't mind at all although I still have to think about spending time studying since I will be in my 4th year. I have to start thinking and decide fast! Oh, where r u going for winter break? i have few interesting idea. Izzy is going to Edmonton and Vancouver. I still have decide if I wanna follow her. shish. I'm always indecisive....whatevs, I will figure this one out soon.

Since I bore u with my story yg serious tu. Thought wanna show u some pics from my Thanksgiving weekend.

Not in favour of a smooooch from me ehh

TD Waterhouse Stadium. UWO Mustangs rocks this field all the time :)

blowing kisses to that player...whoever he is...


haha. in the starting position to dive in

i'm flying.....saket kaki pas ni

ouhh, tangan berdrama

peek a boo donnggg...

i can see the white lightt....

gotta run..

where i've been living for the past 2 years.

love the flowers, love me

mari2 mari2 pulangg...

selamat datang ke suite kami (#442)

takde apa2 laaa

seriously, why do i even bother to change my layout. it's just messy now. i lost most of my link, i have to find a picture, then i lost my quote of the day link which i cant seem to be able to add it ever since.


right now, i have no idea at all what to write. i'm just getting worse at this. i know i want to write bout so many things, but when i finally got the time to sit down and type....i just find my story is boring and lame. so takde lahh cerite


so sorry guys, no story to tell.
bunyi sedeh je. tp for the sake of updating my blog on a regular basis, i post this lamest of all post to tell u i got nothing for u. lame to the max, i know but i couldnt care less