heartbeats

your heart may be beating fast for many reasons. for me, it's 'cause of coffee.

but today, i feel scared of something. overwhelmed by it. i guess this is when i should start pay extra attention to it. the fine details make a great piece of art, so start to look closely at them!

i'm trying to put aside what's around me that do not matter and see only at the things that is worth it, for now. like someone said to me before, takut yang dikejar tak dapat, yang dikendong berciciran. i applied it here. so, focus la weyy! hehe

p/s: wish to go back to NYC. i so belong there.

Up for grabs.

Here

My kind of way has always been to keep calm and carry on. Maybe George Bernard Shaw was right after all. Gaining my heart's desire was a tragedy that I kept myself up for a promise that looped in a circle and ended at where it started. But tragedy in its way is no Macbeth or King Lear. It's a fallen persona that evokes consciousness before a downfall. And that pain and suffering one had to endure are the constant conviction of faith, the kind one hopes to keep on believing in. No surprise. Be careful, faith can be a trap or the rope for you to hang on to. There is, of course, a choice.

I will be fine. It is a decision I made regardless of the consequences, which if I may add, are not severe. Two people do get to be together without any labels attached cause for all I know the only label I want is "a friend".

p/s: I should get this poster the next time I see it. I like it pink :)

Be young

2006. I still look like this now. Maybe I know how to smile better.

OK. Now I know why some say I still look like a student although I'm a corporate person now. Damn. Some people are not meant to grow up. That much I know. Thanks to those who think I am that young. Haha.

p/s: post ni saje sbb dah stress orang slalu ingat i'm a student; thus, they have that thing on the face that sort of say "can i take her seriously."

TV show

You don't see my passion until you stand/sit to listen me talk about Survivor.

An addict, that's what I am.

p/s:

Survivor: Cook Island was by far the best season.

Harapan

Does this hope have a shape?

A circle?

One that starts at a point and goes on to end up at the same starting point?

But where is your starting point? Only in the end to call it the finish point?

Arthur Miller once wrote, maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.

Is your finish point your right regrets?

p/s: a circle has no edges

Volare!

So, it's January. And that means a few friends, who are studying in overseas, just got back from their winter break vacation! And that is a cause for green with envy in me. Haha. I just got back from a meeting in Johor Bahru a few hours ago. While I'm out for a business trip, I get to collect airmiles points as well. Hehe. For the last 4 weeks, I've been a regular at KLIA. I flew in and out of KL almost every week. Urghh! And at times, I didn't get to unpack my bags even. Just took out some clothes, put in new ones and just leave the toiletries etc in my backpack. If I can say something about the frequency of me flying here and there, I'd say it's okay. I'm 23 with no major responsibilities. Maybe only this time around I get to be selfish and just live life like it's meant to be. Who knows along the way, I'll meet with a lot of interesting people. And that is always the case when I go around. Business card? Checked!

While my traveling days as a student are long time over, I guess this new kind of traveling is not so bad afterall. We still get to hang out and pusing2 a little bit with my working colleague, but the mood is entirely different. This is the time to hear their stories, their experience and some "gossips". Hehe. I mean, you don't get to really know a person at work 'cause you gotta keep it "professional". We hang out at Danga Bay on our first night in JB and that was fun. Heard lots of stories, discussed lots of things and enjoyed an awesome live performance! Humff. Then, meeting, makan, meeting lagi and makan lagi. We had an impromptu rig visit after the meeting. It was great visit, mainly cause we get to take pictures everywhere without any worry that the flash may be a cause of ignition; thus, start a fire. FYI, I need a permit to take pictures on the rig. And don't dream to take pictures of everything on the rig when drilling commences. See, why I say it's great? :) I can't imagine I'll be living on that rig in a few weeks time! I'm so excited. So far, people are looking great on the rig. But typical boys, they'll get excited when they see girls onboard.

Izzy and I kept remisnicing Orlando while we were in JB. Maybe because Universal Studio is just a swim away :p

Ok, my mafias decided to go to Bukit Tinggi tomorrow. Hehe. Berjalan-jalan lagi :)

p/s: Bace Going Places pon dah bosan :(

Joyride of 2010

Bye bye 2010. You'll be missed.

I will mark 2010 as the year of liberty! why? Cause I went from student to employee. My first ever job, if I may add.

Much like my "Joyride of 2009" post, I should do the same for 2010!

So lets see some of the highlights (& lowlights) of 2010.

Big Teary Moment

Won the Bachelor Thesis Award 2010 from Ontario Petroleum Institute. Read the email at 5.50am with my eyes half opened. I was so shocked; my heart was racing and in my head I said "is this for real?". I cried minutes later. I called Kerol. He hated when I call him at odd hours. Haha. I cried even more after that. Then, I jumped around in the shower :) Nothing could go wrong that day. Hope you know I busted my arse off for that paper. And of course, for a chance to appear in the Down-to-Earth Newsletter, nothing can go wrong!

Best Bimbo Moment

Went on a cruise from Miami-Key West-Cozumel-Miami. Thanks to the influence from Pisau Cukur. Izyan even bought a huge hat for that...

Leaving Miami

Besar dowh kapal

Best Makan-makan Moment

At Bagan Lalang with the mafias!!! We had seafood at HM Sri Bagan. The food was amazing. On the way home, we made yet another stop for ice-cream! Heaven lah!

Best Mommy-Daughter Moment

Of course when she came over to Canada. Even my twin sister flew all the way from UK to join us! And I became the tour guide (& the driver!). My mom never had the chance and time to just travel like us, so I'm so happy I got to take her around :) It was a tiring 3 weeks for her, but hey everyday was very well spent! Took her to NYC, Montreal, Toronto, Bruce Peninsula, London and Niagara Falls. Kinda funny when I made my mom walked all around Manhattan. As I'm a self-proclaimed Manhattan local, I took her to so many places...not just to tourist spots. Sorry mommy, the only way to enjoy Manhattan is by walking :) Plus, she got to meet her old time friend who now migrated to NYC. Love!

Although I still can't forget how I walked into the LV boutique at 5th Avenue wearing silly flip flops and demanded my mommy to buy me one. Pffttt! Nice try, but no success :( But I like it when mommy says it's okay to swipe Daddy's credit card. Weeee!

Mommy and the Brooklyn Bridge

Statue of Liberty loves us!

Old time sake!

We're sure don't look like twins! Just us three "hiking" at Bruce Peninsula.

Best LIVE performace

Hands down, DAVE MATTHEW'S BAND. With that dude 5m from me, I can't describe the excitement lah. Too awesome!

Best thing I bought

It has to be my Love-Peace-Music Moleskine (CAD26). Bought it as a bday present for myself. A new journal. Haha. I have a name for it already. If Green Life refers to my previous diary, you have to wait until I change the name of this blog to know.

Most expensive thing I bought

A car. Duhh. My Perodua Viva cutelah!

Best Girls-Night-Out Moment

With Izzy. In Miami. Nuff said. The details are up to your imagination. Hehe

Best New Found Love

Anthony Bourdain

Best stress moment

To TD a well! I like the intensity of it. And how I got so anxious to know if we TD at the right lithology. And for that, our correlation with offset well has to be right. I love correlating wells! Arghh!

Best "I feel so important" moment

Strangers wanted to take pictures with me at Carassauga 2010. Why? Cause they wanna have a picture with the girl in the turquoise baju kurung :)

And I was excited to take pictures with others as well

Best "Whoa, he did not just say my name!" moment

When the Vice President of Academic at UWO recognized and congratulated me on stage during my convocation. He even know my effing name!

Silly Tears Moment

Stressed out when a friend made me looked like shit in front of others.

Worst lets find something decent

House hunting! Dangg! Why in the world can't I find a nice place to settle in?

Worst why am I here again? moment

On a ship trying to understand how seismic data were obtained. I lost >3kg in 1 week. I think you can guess why.

Worst "I can pee in pants for this" moment

To board on a helicopter, flew 50 minutes to the rig that is in the middle of nowhere. Ok, what if the helicopter crashed into the sea. Arghhh! Well, it's all good now. Hehe.

Not so happy phone call moment

Sleeping. Phone rings. "Anda dipilih bekerja dengan kami. Tunggu surat kami". And I just arrived Malaysia 7 days ago. No break. Sad.

(p/s: I sure glad I didn't take a long break cause I enjoy working!)

Lets hope I can find more things to add here.

p/s: If perfect is what you are searching for, then just stay the same. Sape nak cakap these words to me?

Bergelora-lah

The waves are beginning to look a little choppy compared to yesterday, but I heard the weather is picking up. A little heads up for myself: I may get drenched tonight! Yesterday was so calm and I like it. As I'm waiting for my current-partner-in-crime, Annas to finish looking at cuttings under the microscope, I do log correlation. Oh, after getting so used to everything in colours, it is a strain to the brain to adjust to black and white. I must bear in my mind of the certain technology-luxury today has compared to the past, past years. I still wonder today how different things were back in those days.

Status:

Log correlation, OK.

Cuttings, OK.

ROP, OK.

Gamma ray, somewhat OK.

Everything ties in very well. So, I'm taking a 5 minute break to write this out while waiting for the next cutting to arrive. Annas is already "resting" at a corner, a buddy is playing Coldplay "Fix You" and I'm still trying to search for a story to write. I thought I have a lot to write about, but no, I'm only rambling here. I can only appreciate my time I have right now cause I just realized, I should be working 24 hrs here. The intensity of it is yet to kick in, so I can't start dreaming of it yet. It will come tomorrow as we approach the section total depth. For now, I just want to enjoy my quiet time with the boys while trying to put aside the countless reports and other office-related matters. Haha. What a life!

Ok, where is my partner-in-crime when I need him!

p/s: what's for lunch?

Guru

I personally think Anthony Bourdain is my guru. Travel-wise. Food-wise.

;)

p/s: dreaming of Paris 'cause of him.

Play

I may just need to hit the play button just about now.

Today is Awal Muharram. So, Salam Maal Hijrah to all.

As I'm sitting lazily on my bed, I can't help but to look at all my unpack stuff from my previous trip to Labuan last week. Sure I carried a backpack, but still they need to be unpacked pronto! This is when I began to have these thoughts. You know, I'm not that organized after all. As much as I think I made a hell of a planner, I don't jump in when it comes to keeping things tucked in. I rather have my things lying everywhere than to clean them up. My head is messy, no doubt. That is my style. It has to be everywhere or I can't find my things. Ironic, you say? I would agree. OK, now I have something to do over the weekend. Yes, that's justified now!

I met a friend the other day. We talked a lot over dinner at Bubba Gump Shrimp & Co. Since I craved for clam chowder, I opted for that. Nothing too fancy. It wasn't that good, in my honest opinion. The clam chowder in sourdough bowl I had at Fisherman's Wharf, San Francisco was by far the best. Creamy and yummy. This wasn't creamy at all. Haha.

We shared our opinions on things and we shared about our personal lives as well and we had our differences, too.

Back then, at times when life felt stagnant (especially at night) I would randomly search any related quotes and write it out on a small square piece of paper. Then I pasted it on the wall. More so, I at times would sketch anything I felt like drawing and I pasted it on the wall, too. It was the random things I drew or wrote that makes me felt filled up. I told my friend this. And I wonder why I feel so tangled up now with so many issues and dilemma. I was pretty much happy just by drawing and writing something random. He said he knew me as a simple person. Simple needs, simple passion. The kind that doesn't have to be elaborative to make a point. I would stand to his observation because there is some truth in it. My thoughts are more complicated now 'cause I want to believe in my best ability I grew up. But that doesn't necessary translate to my actions. I just don't care if people make wrong translations because it is always hard to right a wrong.

"Apesal eh I got so caught up with life these days", I said.

Now I know, this is part of growing up. There are a lot more things piling up, and they are not just papers as when I was student. If this is what it takes to be a grown up, I would always be reminded of the small, yet big things that make me happy once upon a time.

In One Hundred Years of Solitude, things in life are condemned to repeat themselves.

p/s: I'm 23. And I have a thing for Andy Warhol

*WISHING WALL*