30 days and counting

A month into living abroad feels like I've never done this before. If I'm allowed to make one comment bout it, I'd say I've grown to know me. As in, I never know what I really want, until I got here.

and, cheers to that *raise glass!*

p/s: Dreaming of an imagination.

Dari dalam hati

Secara zahirnya, lelaki memang saya kira lebih kuat. Kuat fizikalnya kerana itu satu ketentuan. Namun, tidaklah harus kita lupakan yang seseorang itu perlu juga kuat di dalam hatinya. Saya kira, perempuan telah dilahirkan untuk mempunyai kekuatan tertentu dan fokusnya adalah dalam pada hatinya. Saya sebagai perempuan bukanlah mahu membela nasib kaum sendiri, tetapi umum dapat melihat sendiri ketabahan seseorang wanita itu. Kita tidak merungut, apatah lagi menhina diri sendiri apabila ditimpa musibah. Kita bangkit untuk mencari jalan keluar tanpa menunggu bulan jatuh ke riba. Ini lebih benar jika seseorang wanita itu adalah seorang ibu. Tidak salah kalau saya membuat kesimpulan bahawa ibu-ibu dapat berdiri gah dengan kekuatan sendiri kerana mereka tahu kekuatan mereka adalah nadi kepada keluarga. Mereka tahu ada sesuatu yang berharga yang harus dijaga dan dipupuk. Inilah yang dikatakan naluri wanita bergelar seorang ibu. Saya bukan seorang ibu, tetapi sudah pastinya saya dapat kebenaran ini pada mama saya. Saya rasa mama saya sudah melalui pelbagai suka duka dalam kehidupan ini. Walaupun dia senyap dan tidak meluahkan apa yang dirasakan, tetapi saya dapat agak apa yang sedang bermain di fikirannya. Jauh di sudut hatinya, saya pasti dia cuba untuk menjadi tabah untuk kami. Tidak perlulah saya mencungkil satu persatu, tetapi cukuplah untuk kalian tahu dia gembira dengan apa yang dia kecapi dan saya sangatlah bertuah mempunyai dia sebagai mama saya. Saya berharap saya dapat membuat dia gembira selalu. Sayaaanng mama saya!

Mama dan saya. Amirul & Hakim sekali lah!

Tapi itu hanya sedikit.

Tidak kira dimana saya pergi untuk menimba pengalaman, saya akan melihat perkara yang sama. Kaum hawa membanting kudrat mereka untuk mencari rezeki dan saya tahu mereka melakukannya untuk mencari sesuap nasi. Kerana jika suami mereka sudah berharta, masakan mereka perlu membanting tulang? Inilah yang saya kagum. Sudah pasti segala penat lelah mereka berbaloi apabila melihat anak-anak mereka gembira. Tapi saya merasakan tatkala mereka membela orang lain, nasib sendiri tidak terbela. Walaupun acapkali kita katakan inilah "naluri seorang ibu", tetapi sampai bilakah mereka perlu sebegini? Saya cuma berharap anak-anak mereka dapat menghargai pengorbanan ibu mereka dengan sebaiknya. Saya masih kagum.

Mendayung sampan untuk mencari rezeki

Jangan lupa wanita lah secara lazimnya yang dapat buat kerja-kerja sebegini teliti dan halus

(seorang wanita sedang membuat kulit popiah dengan tekunnya)

Oleh itu, kesimpulan saya mudah. Mungkin lelaki yang dapat mempamerkan kekuatan zahir mereka, tetapi kekuatan dalaman adalah sama penting. Lihatlah ibu kamu dan pastinya kamu akan bersetuju.

P/S: Tidak bermaksud untuk membuat karangan ala-ala Tingkatan 5. Hanya ingin memperlihatkan apa yang mungkin kita sudah terlupa.

Hooked

A year ago, I wrote "something obvious should be very subtle".

And a year later, I still believe so.

And in 3 months, I still want to believe so.

Because I know, it is there.

"Something obvious should be very subtle"

There is no point for one to prove something that is obvious. As long as one knows it is there, then it is there. But one seeks for an attention; a chance to be seen because that desperate attempt is all to vie for a pointless point. The deeper this goes, the more important it sounds to thee, but fret not 'cause thy silent aplomb is admirable. It counts to be subtle in your actions. It matters to keep your emotions in line. The bottom line is proving an obvious point is silly and self-belief is the key. What matters is you know it is there.

p/s: I had coffee everyday for bukak puasa. Hihi

Wow, duit!

LOL. RM6 sedia diberikan to kanak-kanak riang :)

Story telling

If I write a story, will you read it out loud.

Will you be the narrator to my story?

It is about five little birds trying to make a decision to fly away. Three in complete agreement, but two decided to stay. Why stay when there is nothing here? they asked. There is a dream out there waiting for us to land on. An opportunity to grow bigger and stronger, they continued to say.

The two replied, Here is good 'cause this is where we call home. Not there or there. You can always land on some opportunities elsewhere and settle down in a nice house you think is good. But deep down you know, a house is never a home.

p/s: hati kecil terasa pabila hati besar terdetik.

And it gets going

Today is day 1 of Ramadhan. SELAMAT BERPUASA TO ALL.

My heart wept too, today.

Maybe cause Ramadhan to me is different this year. I just tell myself that loneliness is just a feeling that I need to push aside, but being here alone means a whole lot more. Since today was rough anyways, I took the liberty to seek some comfort. And what I found was a conversation I had with a certain someone back in November 2010. My eyes got teary cause it was beautiful. I can feel my heart skipped a beat.

Yes, beautiful.

And you're beautiful, no matter who you are reading this.

p/s: "kalau hati ada sayang..."

and they kept lingering in my head. yes, i have my answer.

Saigon

Good morning Saturday!

(I like that everything in my room is in white)

Saturday.

I lazed around in bed until 9am. All I know is, as soon as I walk out of my hotel, I want to find a decent coffee shop. Apparently, I live in the "foreigner" zone, meaning things are slightly pricier. No wonder there is a gourmet market just a block away and I went there to get bread & jam. LOL.

Last night my colleague took me on a ride on her motorcycle. There are hundreds of motorcycles on the road at one time and seriously, you need courage to ride a bike here. In between making a turn or braving oneself at the roundabout, you gotta be so alert cause a bike can come out of nowhere. So, I gathered all the courage I can and rode the bike with her. It was exciting, actually, despite getting lots of dust into my eyes. I find it very convenient to maneuver oneself in HCMC with a bike, but again, you need courage! ;) oh yea, people here honk to almost everything. At times, I wonder if one will be alerted by the honks. I mean how do you know that honk is meant for you? <-- I think too much...

Bikes on the road are like ants over a candy

"This coffee shop looks interesting. I'm so trying this cafe!" :)

Regina Coffee at Nguyen Du St.

Iced Cappucino for me!

Yeah, definitely interesting.

My iced cappucino! 55,000 VND (~RM10)

I liked it, but it was a bit too sweet for me.

Notre Dame Cathedral.

One block away from Regina Coffee. It looks pretty much like any other cathedral I've seen ;)

Yours truly, so not photo ready. Behind me is the General Post Office.

I love the architecture of the building, but I'm not too certain of its style. Colonial? Wiki kate gothic... Anyhow, this somehow reminds me of Grand Central Terminal, NYC

Love the interior as well ;)

Typical sight of women selling fruits and snacks.

Reunification Palace. It was still closed when I arrived, so I guess I have to come again someday.

And then, my battery went flat. I had to walk back to my hotel and by then I was hungry.

There are a few halal restaurant near my hotel. One is just next door: Four Seasons Restaurant and this has been my dinner place every since I got here.

Food's good and the price is reasonable. You'll expect to see other Malaysians dining here.

Cho Ben Thanh, or Ben Thanh Market.

It was crazy in here! I swear I can't survive shopping here. First of all, I'm very bad at bargaining and I don't have the patience to go through one by one to find the best deal/pattern etc. I need my mom for this! Just for the record, the fabrics here are pretty darn cheap, but once you send to the tailor in Malaysia, it will still be over RM100 for the total cost. The ones I saw ready made are about USD20 - USD32 for baju kurung or jubah (~RM60). I find that's cheap.

And I prove from this photo, Malaysians go to HCMC to shop! Raya is coming up kan ;)

Since Ben Thanh is a market after all, you still see them selling fruits and other fresh goods as well. And you don't find Malaysians at this part of the market. Hihi.

Coffee beans! Lots of them!

I might get some myself one day. Me love coffee and that you must know!

The club I wanna go to.

...

now I know Bally is from Switzerland.

HCMC has many parks & squares. Kinda reminds me of Lima, too. At this square I was in, they have lots of bonsai trees. Cute, petite flower trees ;)

Yours truly struggled all day to take a picture of herself :(

Behind me is a government building.

Yea, I wanted to try canned coffee pulak. Highlands Coffee is a franchised coffee shop. They are everywhere and they do look fancy. So I just bought the canned version for 12,000 VND (RM2)

I will wander more. That's a promise.

Saigon is the old name for Ho Chi Minh City.

p/s: esok macam seronok je kalau pergi spa?

HCMC

Yesterday I heard the word "drive". What does it take to drive a person or a group? I know my drive and when yesterday ends, I was head over heels in excitement because today I'm going to Ho Chi Minh City!

Oh well, I'm here already. And I like it so far! I'm all by myself now, but it's okay, it looks all to familiar to me ;) I can't believe I have doubts last night on how to survive here et al. but again I had to seek comfort in somebody who knew that I could do this. Haha!

People here speak very little English and I felt bad that I'm not blending in yet in terms of language. I just googles how to say Thank You in Vietnamese. I can't write it here cause I don't have the fancy characters, but it is pronounced as "karm ern". Ok, will use it tomorrow onwards. I opted to take a cab and make my way to the hotel on my own. Some friends suggested that I request for somebody to pick me up, but yea it's not a big deal to me. Along the way, I saw a few interesting cafes that I swear I must try them all! If only :p You know my addiction to coffee and Vietnam being one of the best place for coffee, I just gotta try them all. There is one cafe really caught my eyes, but I didn't catch the name :( I will make the effort to find it! Then, I walked around my hotel area, there are tons of Halal restaurant in this area and this reminds me again that I may need to be a vegetarian on some occasions. I totally gave up on the idea of being a dedicated vegetarian when I got back to Malaysia last year. Somehow, I can't resist.

I will write more. Toodles, need to catch some break.

Just thought I should have one ;)

They decided to tag along to Ho Chi Minh City.

Eh, ape eh name korang berdua ni?

p/s: my certain someone is very far away, too.

With Arms Wide Open

Tonight, I blasted off some old Creed songs that I don't remember I have in my iTunes until somebody asked. And that was at 1am. Our mini singing session has ended by now, and I'm all wide awake. You can tell me why ;)

P/S: chose to write a review on "With Arms Wide Open" back when I was 14 for some assignment. Then I chose, "This I Promise You" haha

That certain someone

I like to think to be in the right crowd is hard; to surround oneself with people whom you can call friends and to avoid enemies. The worst is, of course, to be bounded by pretentious people with glittery eyes and friendly smiles. Then it boils down to trust; who are your trustworthy people? Deep down, I can actually easily trust someone with my stories. You'll see the preferences almost immediately. I may sound naive to you, then. I've known better now. Maybe I cannot willfully hand pick who to be friends with, but I can certainly choose my trustworthy friends. I wonder why I used to be so out loud about everything that I couldn't give myself some reservations. Add that to my vocabulary now. I am more reserved. At times, I give some thoughts. Do I ever have enemies? They don't come running to me, but do I have enemies?

Above all,

I have met that certain someone whom I can share all my stories with and would listen patiently to me when I babble every . single . time .

:)

p/s: offshore again. muka akan kering lagi! urgh!