Correct me if I'm wrong, but are people always that evil AND needy when they want something so bad? Is that the way people show u "I will go beyond anything to get what I want"...?
I'm thinking, is using your friend to get what u want is actually using him/her or simply just helping out a friend. Cos right now, I'm dead confuse. I think I'm doing my friend a favour, but the more I think of it, I felt like I'm being used. So what is it that I should feel?
It's like taking advantage of ur friend now that u screwed up. How can I fix a problem that u created urself? Being the girl stucked between 2 individuals was never my kinda thing. I'm beginning to think that I'm a bit to nice and not aggressive enough, that people think they can come and go whenever they like. Truthfully this is not the first time I've been used. I had a few other occurance which I'm not so proud to talk about. Can it be that I'm too dumb to see it? How can u be so sure that u've being manipulated by ur so-called friend. Huh, I guess u will never know right, until u reach that eureka moment when everything makes sense and u were left alone feeling so messed up. I think I should not let these people in the next time, but apparently, I'm a bit stubborn and I do not learn my lesson from before. Next time, I'm walking around with a bit of doubt. I don't care if u r my bestest friend or what, but I don't deserve to be "played". If u want a favour, make it very sincere, and pls I'm a no pro in fixing screwed up matters. I'm not a good talker; and I'm not a good listener. Hope u guys know that by now. But, I will still lend my ears if u truthfully need them.
George Bernard Shaw once wrote : “The true joy of life [is] being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one ... being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown to the scrap heap ... being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish clod of ailments and grievances.”
I dont think I recognized this as a mighty one, and I dont wish to be totally used up and end up in pain when everyone else don't even bother to look out for me. No thanks.
Friday, June 13, 2008
pictures out of boredom
i was so bored yesterday and i played with my pictures.
lets see how they turned out
a.b.s.u.r.d
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
new things huh
well, as u can see i'm in the process of changing the layout for my blog.
i really hope things will turn out nice :)
i just cant do everything all at once, but i gotta do step by step since most of my stuff are in my laptop and i'm using the pc at the moment. so behold folks for the new thoughts translated.~
i really hope things will turn out nice :)
i just cant do everything all at once, but i gotta do step by step since most of my stuff are in my laptop and i'm using the pc at the moment. so behold folks for the new thoughts translated.~
Thursday, June 5, 2008
harry potter and....
don't u just wish that u have more time in a day? i'm feeling it right now. it's already 12.30am and i refuse to go to bed cause i feel like i have many more things today before i can call it a day. one of it is writing a new post. so i'm forcing myself to write although i should go to bed.
i've just finished reading harry potter and the deathly hallows, the 7th book. the book is 607 pages and in my opinion, it is too exaggerated! the main idea for the 7th book is to find the horcruxes and kill voldemort. before book 7 started, we already know that 2 horcruxes were destroyed. so for this book, harry and friends should be finding for another 5 horcruxes and destroy them. And why do i think it is exaggerated? i think i spend half the book reading harry undergo so many things, but can't even find 1 horcruxe. it's a waste of time. i know the plot is building to that, but it need not be in 300 pages.... haiyaaa...still i managed to read until the end. nevertheless, i have to give credit to JK Rowling for a brilliant plot. everything fits in very well and actually make sense. i dont think she thinks of horcruxes yet when she wrote chamber of secrets, but somehow she was able to fit that part into the whole horcrux thing. kuddos~!!
enuf with harry potter. oh, they will release the 6th harry potter movie end of this year. i cant wait for that.
hummm, i'm actually losing all the ideas for this post. hah.
tah,, lupa dah. i know i want to talk bout harry potter and something else. ahah!
ok lahhh, lupa juga and couldnt think of it now.
one question: what do u think of timbaland as an artiste? i think he is brilliant! i'm listening to his songs at the moment. hehehe
i've just finished reading harry potter and the deathly hallows, the 7th book. the book is 607 pages and in my opinion, it is too exaggerated! the main idea for the 7th book is to find the horcruxes and kill voldemort. before book 7 started, we already know that 2 horcruxes were destroyed. so for this book, harry and friends should be finding for another 5 horcruxes and destroy them. And why do i think it is exaggerated? i think i spend half the book reading harry undergo so many things, but can't even find 1 horcruxe. it's a waste of time. i know the plot is building to that, but it need not be in 300 pages.... haiyaaa...still i managed to read until the end. nevertheless, i have to give credit to JK Rowling for a brilliant plot. everything fits in very well and actually make sense. i dont think she thinks of horcruxes yet when she wrote chamber of secrets, but somehow she was able to fit that part into the whole horcrux thing. kuddos~!!
enuf with harry potter. oh, they will release the 6th harry potter movie end of this year. i cant wait for that.
hummm, i'm actually losing all the ideas for this post. hah.
tah,, lupa dah. i know i want to talk bout harry potter and something else. ahah!
ok lahhh, lupa juga and couldnt think of it now.
one question: what do u think of timbaland as an artiste? i think he is brilliant! i'm listening to his songs at the moment. hehehe
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
my life, continues
Can i say wtf? i'm a bit stressed out.
oh, did u hear the new OMG? it's OMFG. haha, saw that on a billboard in times square. let me just assume u know what the F stands for :D
just as i landed in KLIA, i already starting to feel the heat. even in KLIA where it is air-conditioned. we were "fanning" ourselves and i think few people saw that, in particular one uncle. later, he approached us and say, "u better get use to the weather here". all i can do is smile :)
i think he was following our conversation for quite a bit, since he knew we are studying in canada. lol
i was glad this time, my parents were not late. as a matter of fact, i was late. haha.
haha. well, welcome to malaysia, farisa! i was dying thinking what is the first food that i want to eat. i chose kueh teow soup, lol. it was good! i know i dont want to eat nasi lemak :P
oh what the hell, it turned out that my mom had a hell load of plans for me that weekend. at noon, after resting for few hours, i'm on the road again to hospital selayang to see my aunt who's been hospitalized for some complications. i guess, i can't say no, although i was very tired. i met some cousins there...
bla bla bla....
the next day, i met kak farah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh wow! what a pleasant visit. we talked for quite a bit and yes, i miss her so much. she gave me few things from australia :)
and i left KL for kuantan that afternoon. i cant wait to see my new house
oh my God. it's not like what i expected!! it's still in the major renovation stage. i cant even unpack properly!! my dad took me on a "tour" around the house and show me things. yea, i know once it's done, my house (or my dad's house) will be sangat cantik. and the most shocking part of all is the granitic floor. omg, my first thought is "err, i dont think granite will look good as floor tiles", but my dad insists, so i simply cant say no. plus die dah tempah pon. i googled for some pictures, well, they do have the luxurious touch to it and it's not gonna look all that bad :)
my bathroom will have pink tiles. whaaat! but when i saw the tiles, they are nice, so tak kisah lahhh. the thing is, my dad is making the house very very very well ventilated. like seriously, double walling la, ape lahh will *he say* make the house cooler. my dad is not a fan of air conditioner, so he wants the house to cool naturally, which i think is quite impossible, but hopefully whatever he is building right now is the answer for that!
k, enuf with the house, i will post some pictures if i have the time ok. tempat computer pon sgt smpit. at the moment, no pictures of NY or whatsoever. i know i promise to write about my fieldtrip, but the situation is not so good. i just dont want to spend lots of time at the computer cos ppl are working in this area. k, ciao for now. i dont know when i will be able to write the next post. pls ignore if there is any grammar or spelling mistakes, i just cant proofreading right now :P
oh, did u hear the new OMG? it's OMFG. haha, saw that on a billboard in times square. let me just assume u know what the F stands for :D
just as i landed in KLIA, i already starting to feel the heat. even in KLIA where it is air-conditioned. we were "fanning" ourselves and i think few people saw that, in particular one uncle. later, he approached us and say, "u better get use to the weather here". all i can do is smile :)
i think he was following our conversation for quite a bit, since he knew we are studying in canada. lol
i was glad this time, my parents were not late. as a matter of fact, i was late. haha.
haha. well, welcome to malaysia, farisa! i was dying thinking what is the first food that i want to eat. i chose kueh teow soup, lol. it was good! i know i dont want to eat nasi lemak :P
oh what the hell, it turned out that my mom had a hell load of plans for me that weekend. at noon, after resting for few hours, i'm on the road again to hospital selayang to see my aunt who's been hospitalized for some complications. i guess, i can't say no, although i was very tired. i met some cousins there...
bla bla bla....
the next day, i met kak farah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh wow! what a pleasant visit. we talked for quite a bit and yes, i miss her so much. she gave me few things from australia :)
and i left KL for kuantan that afternoon. i cant wait to see my new house
oh my God. it's not like what i expected!! it's still in the major renovation stage. i cant even unpack properly!! my dad took me on a "tour" around the house and show me things. yea, i know once it's done, my house (or my dad's house) will be sangat cantik. and the most shocking part of all is the granitic floor. omg, my first thought is "err, i dont think granite will look good as floor tiles", but my dad insists, so i simply cant say no. plus die dah tempah pon. i googled for some pictures, well, they do have the luxurious touch to it and it's not gonna look all that bad :)
my bathroom will have pink tiles. whaaat! but when i saw the tiles, they are nice, so tak kisah lahhh. the thing is, my dad is making the house very very very well ventilated. like seriously, double walling la, ape lahh will *he say* make the house cooler. my dad is not a fan of air conditioner, so he wants the house to cool naturally, which i think is quite impossible, but hopefully whatever he is building right now is the answer for that!
k, enuf with the house, i will post some pictures if i have the time ok. tempat computer pon sgt smpit. at the moment, no pictures of NY or whatsoever. i know i promise to write about my fieldtrip, but the situation is not so good. i just dont want to spend lots of time at the computer cos ppl are working in this area. k, ciao for now. i dont know when i will be able to write the next post. pls ignore if there is any grammar or spelling mistakes, i just cant proofreading right now :P
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Gossip Girl
GG - my favourite TV show ended last Monday but I didn't get the chance to watch it until just now.
I just want to say one word : SNAP!
And "thanks" for an emotion-evoking season. This is exactly why I don't usually watch dramas. Cos they have a way to make you feel something bout your nearly-perfect life seems far from perfect!
OK, I know some of my friends are not fans of GG cause of the outrageous lifestyle of New York teenagers featured in the show. But if you put aside the crazily expensive outfits, limos, crazy penthouses, you will actually get a very interesting storyline. I'm not gonna bother myself with the plot here, but truthfully, it's good. The whole season has touched my emotions like crazy. When Dan and Serena are happy together, they actually make me feel sad (and I think you know where I'm going with this). But I just can't help to think, will my life change a lot if I do have somebody? Right now, I just don't bother myself with this kinda thing cause I don't want it to affect my studies, but will my studies actually get affected? Not that I would know eh. Whatevs... I was just having one of my curious moments. I have plenty :P Again, just not gonna think about it again. It was just an aftereffect of GG lol, that's all.
I have one more thing in mind. In the last episode Bart told Chuck that since now he has Blair, he will become a whole new person. He will be more responsible, gentleman, willing to make sacrifice, etc (I don't remember the rest) , apekah benar kata En Bass itu? Somehow I don't feel like I'm up for that *grin*. Anyways, I'm very satisfied with how things are right now, and I could not ask for more. I have more friends now that I can really really talk to whenever I have a problem which is always nice cause I don't tend to keep things to myself. OK enough, you know the rest if you've been following my blog.
Gosh, my laptop is so crappy right now :(
More reason to get a new one eh.
Ok, tulis one more perkara sahaja...
Tomorrow, I will be going to Fifth Avenue. More shopping! err...more window shopping I have to say. That street excites me more than any other street, and I think I know why. hehe. But it's not like I'm going to enter Prada, Chanel, Dior, LV etc etc boutique. I simply can't or else I definitely would! I will walk until 34th Street (where the Empire State building is) and maybe, if the weather is good, I will go up. It's been raining everyday now and the rain is destroying my holiday, hands down! Well, along 34th Street, kami mahu pergi GAP, Forever 21 and VS. I'm getting more things from VS. I already spent like 70+dollars there, and I might spend another 80dollars tomorrow. HAHAHA. but wait guys, they are not all for me! Orang ramai kirim dong... so I'm just doing the honour of buying them. hehe.
k babe, ciao for now :)
I just want to say one word : SNAP!
And "thanks" for an emotion-evoking season. This is exactly why I don't usually watch dramas. Cos they have a way to make you feel something bout your nearly-perfect life seems far from perfect!
OK, I know some of my friends are not fans of GG cause of the outrageous lifestyle of New York teenagers featured in the show. But if you put aside the crazily expensive outfits, limos, crazy penthouses, you will actually get a very interesting storyline. I'm not gonna bother myself with the plot here, but truthfully, it's good. The whole season has touched my emotions like crazy. When Dan and Serena are happy together, they actually make me feel sad (and I think you know where I'm going with this). But I just can't help to think, will my life change a lot if I do have somebody? Right now, I just don't bother myself with this kinda thing cause I don't want it to affect my studies, but will my studies actually get affected? Not that I would know eh. Whatevs... I was just having one of my curious moments. I have plenty :P Again, just not gonna think about it again. It was just an aftereffect of GG lol, that's all.
I have one more thing in mind. In the last episode Bart told Chuck that since now he has Blair, he will become a whole new person. He will be more responsible, gentleman, willing to make sacrifice, etc (I don't remember the rest) , apekah benar kata En Bass itu? Somehow I don't feel like I'm up for that *grin*. Anyways, I'm very satisfied with how things are right now, and I could not ask for more. I have more friends now that I can really really talk to whenever I have a problem which is always nice cause I don't tend to keep things to myself. OK enough, you know the rest if you've been following my blog.
Gosh, my laptop is so crappy right now :(
More reason to get a new one eh.
Ok, tulis one more perkara sahaja...
Tomorrow, I will be going to Fifth Avenue. More shopping! err...more window shopping I have to say. That street excites me more than any other street, and I think I know why. hehe. But it's not like I'm going to enter Prada, Chanel, Dior, LV etc etc boutique. I simply can't or else I definitely would! I will walk until 34th Street (where the Empire State building is) and maybe, if the weather is good, I will go up. It's been raining everyday now and the rain is destroying my holiday, hands down! Well, along 34th Street, kami mahu pergi GAP, Forever 21 and VS. I'm getting more things from VS. I already spent like 70+dollars there, and I might spend another 80dollars tomorrow. HAHAHA. but wait guys, they are not all for me! Orang ramai kirim dong... so I'm just doing the honour of buying them. hehe.
k babe, ciao for now :)
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Selamat Ulangtahun ke-1
yea, it's the 1st anniversary for my dear blog. happy bday (it is bday?) bloggie....
i'm supposed to give my blog a super duper makeover (lolz) but i'm in NY right now and the internet connection is so freaking slow sometimes and so i dont bother myself. i would probably have the make over once i'm home~!!
it's gonna rain like crazy for few days. i guess my holiday in NY this time will be wEt, Wet, and weT! hate it! my my flats is driving me crazy. my feet is corruptly hurting right now cos of u! damn. never trust flats...especially if they are vincci or nose. they are darn cheap, so u get what u pay for huh. tp tak jugak, even aldo flats gives u the same problem too! haihh...i can only count on my sneakers. but sneakers are not FF... huhuhu. i have one sneakers in mind that might change my perspective a little bit, but i have not accomplished finding the perfect one!
oh, i did quite few shopping already. hehehe. finally i got smthing for my dad, walaupon just baju which i already gave him last yr. i dont care, it's not like it's easy to find smthing for him!
ok, ngantuk! and i think i'm getting a fever cos of the rain yesterday~
i'm taking a rest right now. ciao!
FF = fashion forward :D
i'm supposed to give my blog a super duper makeover (lolz) but i'm in NY right now and the internet connection is so freaking slow sometimes and so i dont bother myself. i would probably have the make over once i'm home~!!
it's gonna rain like crazy for few days. i guess my holiday in NY this time will be wEt, Wet, and weT! hate it! my my flats is driving me crazy. my feet is corruptly hurting right now cos of u! damn. never trust flats...especially if they are vincci or nose. they are darn cheap, so u get what u pay for huh. tp tak jugak, even aldo flats gives u the same problem too! haihh...i can only count on my sneakers. but sneakers are not FF... huhuhu. i have one sneakers in mind that might change my perspective a little bit, but i have not accomplished finding the perfect one!
oh, i did quite few shopping already. hehehe. finally i got smthing for my dad, walaupon just baju which i already gave him last yr. i dont care, it's not like it's easy to find smthing for him!
ok, ngantuk! and i think i'm getting a fever cos of the rain yesterday~
i'm taking a rest right now. ciao!
FF = fashion forward :D
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Wabagishik Rd
Canada has the weirdest road names ever! Just as u think Wabagishik Rd sounds weird, u can safely bet Seldom Seen Rd is even weirder...and also Sleepy Hollow Rd! Creepy eh?
I just got back from my fieldtrip. I was excited to be back! Not to say the fieldtrip was bad, but there were few moments where I wished I wasn't there at all. My arms are still sore from dragging my bag. It's very very heavy and I had to walk from B&G building to Elgin Hall to London Hall. That's quite a workout I had. I was sweating bulls when I finally got to London Hall, and right now, I'm hungry. For 10 days, I do not eat proper food at all! At most, I fried spaghetti with perencah nasi goreng. Hah!
OK, seriously I have tonnes of stories to tell.
cabinmates :) at the contact between
quartzite and conglomerate
Monday, April 28, 2008
I will always keep u in my mind and heart :)
I will writing my last exam tomorrow, but I'm taking a break to write an something.
My grandmom passed away. Her name was Hajah Bidah Manap. She had a stroke last Saturday and she passed away this morning at 10am. And I was writing my Stats exam at that moment.
Innalillah...
I'm so gonna missed her :(
She asked for something from Canada, and I promised her I will find it. I haven't bought it yet, and I was thinking of finding it tomorrow or the Wednesday. SO now, I don't have to look for it....
At least I feel okay that I spoke to her 2 weeks ago...remember I wrote bout my conversation with her in my blog? We were joking with each other at that time, taking about the time differences (which she is always amazed), nak beli ape utk die, when am I going to go back to Malaysia etc....and of course, she always always asked me to study hard and don't be a big spender (huhu, ni pon nenek pesan tau!).
Now, our Hari Raya won't be the same and I don't necessarily will go back to Jertih every 2 weeks like I always do :(
I'm reflecting back and see whether I've "repay" enough for her kindness and sacrifices she did for me. One thing I remember is, when I was 13, I just got back from my Pengakap camping and during that camp I was so stupid and wore a RM70 pants to play mud....(I got trick to wear that pants), and so that pants was in the worst condition anyone could every imagine! I got home, told my mom...and as u expected I was scolded. booo-hooo...but my grandmom was at my home at that time...she took that pants, and she scrubed it for me until it looked brand new. And of course, die bebel balik dekat my mom for scolding me. Oh dear! and I only stood there and watched her scrubed my pants (ngong sikit)...
Well, at least I know she's proud of me. She had my newspaper pictures in her glass cabinet. That was nice, and she keeps telling everybody about me and my sister. I'm happy that she's proud of me and I do my best to make her happy too whenever I was back at Jertih. I do hope I've done enough things to make her happy in a way to show how much I appreciate her.
I have an exam tomorrow. I got to put aside my sadness and focus. It's hard I know because I keep reminiscing about her :( and other stuff too! (the berangan part)
ok people I hope you can sedekahkan al-Fatihah to my late grandmom.
Wassalam...
My grandmom passed away. Her name was Hajah Bidah Manap. She had a stroke last Saturday and she passed away this morning at 10am. And I was writing my Stats exam at that moment.
Innalillah...
I'm so gonna missed her :(
She asked for something from Canada, and I promised her I will find it. I haven't bought it yet, and I was thinking of finding it tomorrow or the Wednesday. SO now, I don't have to look for it....
At least I feel okay that I spoke to her 2 weeks ago...remember I wrote bout my conversation with her in my blog? We were joking with each other at that time, taking about the time differences (which she is always amazed), nak beli ape utk die, when am I going to go back to Malaysia etc....and of course, she always always asked me to study hard and don't be a big spender (huhu, ni pon nenek pesan tau!).
Now, our Hari Raya won't be the same and I don't necessarily will go back to Jertih every 2 weeks like I always do :(
I'm reflecting back and see whether I've "repay" enough for her kindness and sacrifices she did for me. One thing I remember is, when I was 13, I just got back from my Pengakap camping and during that camp I was so stupid and wore a RM70 pants to play mud....(I got trick to wear that pants), and so that pants was in the worst condition anyone could every imagine! I got home, told my mom...and as u expected I was scolded. booo-hooo...but my grandmom was at my home at that time...she took that pants, and she scrubed it for me until it looked brand new. And of course, die bebel balik dekat my mom for scolding me. Oh dear! and I only stood there and watched her scrubed my pants (ngong sikit)...
Well, at least I know she's proud of me. She had my newspaper pictures in her glass cabinet. That was nice, and she keeps telling everybody about me and my sister. I'm happy that she's proud of me and I do my best to make her happy too whenever I was back at Jertih. I do hope I've done enough things to make her happy in a way to show how much I appreciate her.
I have an exam tomorrow. I got to put aside my sadness and focus. It's hard I know because I keep reminiscing about her :( and other stuff too! (the berangan part)
ok people I hope you can sedekahkan al-Fatihah to my late grandmom.
Wassalam...
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Not there yet.
I want to be expressive
That is what I want to achieve when I started blogging
But, I'm not quite there yet. I want to write a sad story, and I want you cry with me, that is how expressive I want to be.
But, I couldn't make it happen here. I was good in my diary. I can cry whenever I read my story few years later. I had so much editing going on here that I don't feel I portray my feelings at that moment very well whether it is anger, sadness or happiness. The story feels disconnected most of the time.
IDK
I'm feeling a little emotional right now. and red is my favourite colour. and damn this song I'm listening right now summarized it all.
That is what I want to achieve when I started blogging
But, I'm not quite there yet. I want to write a sad story, and I want you cry with me, that is how expressive I want to be.
But, I couldn't make it happen here. I was good in my diary. I can cry whenever I read my story few years later. I had so much editing going on here that I don't feel I portray my feelings at that moment very well whether it is anger, sadness or happiness. The story feels disconnected most of the time.
IDK
I'm feeling a little emotional right now. and red is my favourite colour. and damn this song I'm listening right now summarized it all.
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