i dont want to be bulimic or anaroxic. i wont eh?

im eating brownies while typing this. that means, im using my left hand and right's jari kelinking... awesome eh? haha...

- this is sumthing i realli realli care. indulging in delicious, fattening food *sigh* is sooo not good for me.

i never care about anything else. errr pretty much ... i dont care my tudung is kerepot, arch tajam or it is messy since i didnt pin it down. i just dont care. i dont care going to class without a touch of compact powder. im definitely comfortable in baring my skin. going to megamall without any makeup is nothing of a big deal. apetah lagi pegi kedai mamak. lol :P i dont care going to the laundry wearing a bright red pants either (ainil, i think u know which sluar im referring to)
I just dont care.

BUT, i do care for one thing. MY FREAKING weight!

saje buat kecik2. cos why? if im a bit fat, i look short. basically that's all the reason to it. haha. and also kene marah ngan my dad.

however, it's sooo hard to keep up with all the workouts n stuff. i do want to go to the gym, but since it is ramadhan, i cant go in the day and at night...obviously i wont go. humm...so how eh? kontrol makan lagi la tak mampu. my up bringing was to eat whut ever i desire to. makan laa ape2 pon, but my dad would force us to do exercise on a regular basis. hah.. and now that im here, i kinda miss the exercise regime. cos now, i cant eat a lot. i was talking to ariff the other day. he was so keen to build up his muscle etc. errr....gud luck with that. i guess guys go to the gym just to have nice looking physique. but im not into that of course. lol. guess guys are not so interested in keeping good fitness etc. to me, that is important cos i dont want to get semput just half way thru things especially physical activities. so i only want to join activities that involve cardiovascular exercise. i do realise that my work in the future would require me to be in good condition. so i might as well start now. my friends here were like...why do u want to go the gym? u r skinny already... errr thanks for that guys. but it's the fitness im trying to keep intact. dont want to lose the fitness that i've build up over the years.

so yea, i kinda realise that im freaking obsess with what i eat and to use up all the calories i took. wish i had the extra passion like my dad or my uncle. admire them both for wanting to always be in perfect shape!! giving smooches to daddy!!

"people eat an average of 11kJ of energy everday when a woman should only eat 6.5kJ a day. - The only way to lose weight is to use more energy than u put into your body each day." (cleo mag, dunno which edition)

and now, im not even eating healthily. im sooo lazy to cut the veggies into smaller bits. oh! what a bummer eh? izyan makan giler byk sayur. jeles syal. i wish she would cut them for me. haha keep on wishing.

humm i've finished the brownies. turn out it doesnt taste all that great.

ps: steven told me selat melaka has among the most pirates in the world. hummm....i guess the pirate carribean thing should have Malaysia on the map. lol :P btw, steven was in the US navy and help our nation to guard selat melaka. and yea, he says Malaysia is the least efficient country to handle this issue. too bad. malu pon ade. but yea, selat melaka is the longest strait in the world and it all belongs to Malaysia and our navy is soo small. thanks for the help Steven!! lol :P. he said: i was surprise that we could get alcohol in Malaysia. err...Malaysia ni takde la kuno sgt Steven. just drinking is not the culture here, so there are not many places selling alcohol.