tidak mahu menunggu bulan jatuh ke riba.

as im writing this, im listening to clay aiken's "these open arms"
im in LoVe with song!!
"these open arms will wait for u
these open arms can pull us through"
nice huh

omg, i just finished watching ugly betty. i actualli cried watching the scene where justin got to know his dad was shot at the store he was in at that moment. tah kenape i was soo touched and infact, i think im getting more and more sensitive each day. humm....

i was talking to izyan smlm, ape betul ke im now more sensitive?? i mean, in the past, saye tak kisah if sumbody did sumthing to me or even try to make me jealous or mad or irritate me to death. saye tak kisah if sumbody i care would go out with somebody else without even telling me. i just tak kisah. people were talking about me and i dont care too!! i was dead insensitive dulu.

however, i find myself to be more sensitive now. i dont know if this is some process of growing up or is this a maturation process...cos if it is, it's just too weird for me. i dont want to tetibe look so sensitive on even small matter. i dont want to be stamped as some "childish adult". i do find myself to be all over the top over small issue. maybe im just protecting things that are mine, if u know whut i mean. but, is that an ample reason for me to be the way i am now. humm i cant make myself clear without giving out an example, but sorry cant point out an example here without mentioning names. and that would be bad cos i have to mention somebody's name without his/her consent.

i was asking izyan: kenape buleh jadi mcm ni? i guess we are now all grown ups, and it is some kinda growth in terms of emotions. cos i THINK being sensitive is a characteristic of an adult kot??? cos if u r not sensitive to what u want AND also to the people around u, then u are still a kid, i guess. sorry this is just my opinion. im not saying im right. cos i find that this can push u further without being hurt or hurting others. HOWEVER, im in the condition of overly done it. hahaha. over sensitive is bad too.

then our conversation masih lagi bersambung antara izyan n saye. ye laa....dlm bas balik dr mall. nak buat ape lagi kalau tak bercerita. hahaa. she was telling me some story laa about some folks. somehow dgr from her story. i was kinda reflecting the story on me.

is it worth to kejar sumthing u are not certain of in the end? i mean, u think it is worth to go for it AT THIS MOMENT, but will it be worth the same in the future?? or am i just trying to please myself now that im not thinking ahead...?

err, im trying not to make myself confuse now. cos whut if u try so hard for it but in the end, u cant even touch it, apetah lagi grasping it. u think u might get it, but actually that's just ur thoughts. the realiti is far from whut u expect it to be. and now im afraid. im scared that what if im chasing for the wrong thing in life. cos if i am, i better stop. how can u ever tell huh?? like things are going well and nice and sweetr and stuff, but suddenly, without notice, without any warnings, things stop being so. im sure to be in tremendous shock and pasti ade failure dlm emosi.

so, im thinking of stopping all these good things before who knows it can turn bad? cos ntah2 im hoping for the wrong thing. baik i backed out huh. cos moving on is always an option too.

BUT, i just cant help to think, whut if, it is worthwhile...

i need to decide things for myself.

now dgr lagu "red dress" by sugarbabes. i feel HOT !! haha