Before anything, tadaaaa, how do u like my new header??
The pictures pretty much sum up who I am.
What can u tell about me when u see those pictures? I say, if u know me very well, u can answer that question rather easily.
I'm planning on changing my background as well, but as of now I can't find one that I like yet. U gotta bet that I'm the MOST indecisive person ev.er. and in consistent for that matter too! I changed my header so many times already, and yet, I hardly post anything~
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I'm not gonna pretend that I'm still that young kid that does not have to worry anything "too serious", I actually have to start thinking about responsibility of being an "actual adult". I still want to live my la-la-la land and just push away any serious decision. Later I know, it gets back to me sooner than I thought.
I was awaken today by my cousin. She said, I got to know some stuff because I'm the eldest in my family. That hits me big time. Yes, I'm the eldest, and so, I bear that first child responsibility that I bet millions others are bearing as well. Little that I know, that is serious biz. I was so happy talking to her that I dont realise it at that moment. Since the conversation minutes ago, it got me. I'm actually an adult and I have to know so many things, and decide on so many things. I may not have to do it now, but it is not that painful to start think about it. Life has a way to just spring to u unexpected decisions, questions and d.ra.ma. I do not wanna be a naive grown up that thinks she've seen a lot that she knows how to make sense of everything. It is not a huge dilemma, but I'm still trying to find myself. Who am I? What defines me?
I thought I've found my place in this world, but given the 21 years I was in it, I may not even have left any markings yet, not even a tiny one. The real question is, where do u find all the answers to such questions? I simply think u can't. Please don't tell me, it's up to me to find it. It is very cliche, and I hate repetitive things. I wrote, in my other diary, what defines me...and I came up with just 2 things, mainly what I enjoy doing. Err...that does not go so well. Maybe somebody can describe me, either positive or negative. I can take it. Grass is not always greener over the other side. I totally got it if somebody is holding a grunge on me. But if they do, not like they gonna read my blog eh?
I'm gonna leave my so deep inner thoughts just like that. hah. Talking bout responsibility....lol.
Honestly, I'm not ready for that yet... there will be a time where I will ready. U'll see. I'll make the announcement.. haha
Well, happy holidays y'all. Hopefully I'll come back with so many nice pictures and show them to u!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
since when does my blog got so lame? i cant recall...
i rarely updated my blog this semester cos i was a total mess.... a total hot mess. now that it's the exam week, i decided to give my blog a few thoughts. farisa is such a weirdo during exam times. worst part is, i have an exam tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. i should be studying, but my brain couldnt take it anymore and i gotta stop and write somewhere else, other than my notebook!! damn im very scared for the 2 exams left. they are by far the toughest courses i've ever taken. the reading was so intense that i sometimes end up singing while reading...(err....)
u see, i cant actually contain myself anymore from the excitement of my winter holidays! it's gonna be aMaZinG!! despite that, i still have a few more arrangement to do! talking about a hell of a busy semester! i'm already planning what to wear at each city, giloss kan?? haha
oh, i wanna give u a buzz...guess whatt dawg? i just bought a ticket to see freakingly amazing Britney Spears in Toronto for her Circus tour! ahhhhhhhhh! that will be my highlight for next year! and it's in March....somewhat close to my bday, so i can pretty much call it my early bday gift for myself. haha.
all i can think of right now is, how am i gonna save money? lol. that ticket cost me 150dollars (gedik beli front seat) and u cant blame me..huhu i grew up listening to her songs, of course i wanna see her up close. izzy and i were actually considering to buy the VIP tickets. haha. tak beli pon cos that would be 500 bucks. takpe, ini pon utk balas dendam tak pegi tgk spice girls early this year! bengong ticket habess....
korang jgn jeles plakkk :D PCD is the opening act. haha
later gators, buku panggil "mai mai, mai sini"