Oh dear! Seriously, nothing can beat how I feel right now.
I feel like a loser.
I just got back from a meeting with my professor and he handed back my thesis introduction paper. He didn't give me a bad mark, but I still feel like a bummed when he starts talking about some of the mistakes I made. You know the feeling you have when you submit something, you feel as though that piece is the best piece you've ever written. It turns out, it's not. That is how I feel right now. I thought I wrote an amazing paper. I told everybody "I'm super pumped to write the introduction!", and I was. I do believe I put a lot of work into it. However, when I talked to him, I just realise I didn't give myself enough reality check. I'm not trying to scare you of with the intensity of doing a thesis, but I just think I'm not being fair to my research work. Just when I think I did a lot, I didn't put as much effort as I did for my online class (tons of reading to do!). Geez. So, I'm writing here to tell you my frustration with myself. I know my supervisors are soooo into this project and I don't want to dissapoint them. He said himself just now, "I had you in some of my classes and I know how you work, but this intro is not nearly as good as what you are capable of" (something like that). Shoottttt!
Well, I say there is no time to feel like shit. I have no time to spare and by that, it means crunch time starts right now!! I have to reorganize my schedule. Thank you for reading.
-fz
dress me up
12.31am
hoho. i'm super-drifted right now and i dare say, tonight is a total blur. damn, i have a report to submit this friday! and here i am posting pictures of some dresses! heh.
well, i'm just looking for some inspiration. mana tahu i wanna buy one someday. since i'm planning to go to geoball next year, so kene laa beli kan. heh.
i am in love with this dress :)
ade laa dalam $500 lol
remember icpu prom night?
kan semangat nak pegi at first smpai laa takde sorang pon kawan nak pegi...i was already looking for a dress with my mom :( tapi tak jadi pegi. haha. well, the one i really wanted was something like this, by melinda looi.
i don't usually wear dresses, tp i bought one last summer just to try it out. geez. and i must say, i don't really like it cause it can get ugly when the wind blows. nuff said.
the only long dress i own.
and this is the only picture of me wearing it.
ahhh i miss summer time!
ok, i should try to get back to work!
sorry laah, post ni tah hape2
fz
Khas utk Ariff and Annas AWWW!
Hehe, jarang kot letak video :) So, here's some vids that I've been meaning to upload! I kinda want to upload the vids when we were on Maid of the Mist, but I sounded too KEPOH so I refuse to upload it!! Hehehe. Personal interest rules.
Walaupon title post khas utk Ariff and Annas, second vid tu takde kaitan ngan korang. Lol
Dah lama kot nak letak video ni.
Tajuk: Aku Sayang Korang. HAHA! Awkwardddddd!
Sorry Arep :D
4450Y Field Trip to Nova Scotia
The party van's official theme song and dance moves!
You'll see some views of Nova Scotia too in this video. Haha
Song: Hot N Cold by Katy Perry.
Title: Take away the dance floor boys :)
ps: I bought a top from AE yesterday for CAD7. haha I am absolutely in love with the top!
$7 jerrr (dah masuk tax nih) LOL
My super shiny and rock'n'roll blazer. I wore it to my interview last week. Awww~!!
haha, kantoi bilik bersepah2!! well, the clothes u see on the bed are not a week collection of "dirty" clothes okay! I was trying on clothes with my new tights (a.k.a I'm wearing it in this picture)
Okay, I do not wish to say this...but I'm getting more and more comfortable to put up my vain pics. SIGH! well, nak tunjuk kat korang kannn :D
later gators!
any more midterms for u guys?? good luck eh!
utk ainil yang tgh final exam, MAJOR GOOD LUCK TO U BABE!
-fz
OWN IT
That's my motivation for today and maybe for the rest of my fourth year. Who said that to me? Haaa...
It was from an unlikely person, but nevertheless I'm taking it all in, for sure cause what he said is true.
....I have to want it and when you get it, own it!
I guess that is the case for the interview with Petronas as well. The interview was last week, if you've been reading my blog...u would have know that already. It went well, I guess although there are some parts where I wish I could have done better. Right now, I'm suffering from the typical-farisa-syndrome-after-an-interview: I should have say something else AND I could have given another example. The words keep lingering in my head. Seriously, I felt at a disadvantage going into the interview first cause I have no reference or I don't know what to expect. Well, at least I can get it over with and the interviewer cannot compare me to anybody ;)
The structure of the interview has 3 parts,
1. About yourself
2. Case study (just as Educamp, just no group discussion)
3. Role Play
I did well in 2 and 3, but not about myself. HAHAHA how korup is that? I think I was still trying to be comfortable at that time that I forgot some of the qualities I should be talking about! Aiyaaa. Takpe, I pretty sure she can judge me correctly based from my answers. And I think my experience at SIFT had helped me a lot in my interview because I can give them clear examples of my beliefs, especially when it is related to the industry LOL. So, any geologist wannabes in Canada, pls pls apply for SIFT if you have the chance :) Definitely will look good on your resume and excellent place for networking; and in my case, good during Petronas interview. HAHA
Other than that...gembira utk jumpa my friends aka the Mafia! We played mafia that night and again, for 4 years I didn't get the chance to be the mafia! Damn. 4 years is long bro! Ahhh! And you wouldn't guess this, I changed my game plan. This time, I was more reserved and I would just talk when I need to talk. Hah. It worked! Cause I didn't the chop early in the game Hikssss.
Humff, dah laa malam dinner tu...I wore baju kurung. Obvious kot tak bace email properly!! AHH! I should wear "formal clothes". Nasib baik my kurung wasn't the red one. Hehe. Well, it feels good to be different AWW! For the interview, I go ALL BLACK neck - toe. That was on purpose. Like I said before, that new blazer definitely made me look sharp. Everybody said so, except Ariff : kau pakai jaket mcm nak naik motor... :( je
Well, sorry laa Ariff, blazer tu walaupon kilat...dah ramai yg suke. Aww! Rock-a** outfit tau orang msg sy ckp Hehe.
Haha, gamba buruk skit... this was taken at 7.30 am kotttt! takleh bukak lampu, org tgh tido :(
OK sekian. FOr more pictures, go check out my facebook album. I can't post the link here somehow Humff
later gators.
FZ
Gratefulness and lucky charm
I think I ask a lot from God.
Everyday in my prayer I will repeat wishing for the same thing, and sometimes I add new things too. Most of the time God granted my wish, and I am always thankful that I got what I want. Alhamdulillah!
As I was praying just now, in my doa I asked a lot, more than usual! That's when I realize, OK ke to ask for a lot of things? They all sound too "duniawi". Humff...I don't know. I hope God doesn't mind to grant me my wishes as He would always do.
Whatever happens, I will always be grateful :)
Next week, I will have my job interview with Petronas. I am definitely looking forward to that; although I'm a lil nervous for it. It looks so real! I AM GOING TO WORK NEXT YEAR! Insya Allah. That's mind boggling. Humff, I guess it makes sense to be nervous, takkan nak overconfident? That would be even worst. Wish me luck people, I need lots of them!
Later gators
Gotta go back to write my Thesis
FZ
ps: Most of my friends bought new suits and all. Huh. I'm wearing a new blazer with "old" stuff. I need to save money now. Hehe. Surprise with the new attitude? I hope not *wink*
Long lost
Of all the things you want to take for granted, let it not be the chance to be with somebody you like (or love, in some cases)
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I should know kann? haha
Segala apekah....?
Pagi tadi, selamba je ckp dekat cikgu..."I will be late to the lab, gotta go to the post office to pick up something". Cikgu ckp OK. Takde plak die expect saye showed up at 1.30 pm kot. Muka bengang je die. Tapi bile ckp ape ade dalam kotak ini...muka die kate "patutlarrr"
Inilah kotak yang takde laa berat pon ;)
Apekah yang ade dalam kotak ini?
Ada ini! Teman baru untuk bersuka ria hehe.
Tadi dah ade kot amik 12 gamba lol.
Well, guess what? I have a webcam now. That's how lame I was!
All good, all good.
Dalam kotak turut memuatkan Cik Izzy punye Moshi-moshi dan Cik Ainil "iBelong to Ainil" iPod! (tak amik laa plak gamba mereka)
Diucapkan terima kasih kepada Bart :) Kamu terbaik!
Korang dah check out belom photobucket peniaga baju cik Linda? Go check it out! Dengan tamatnye hari ni, maka tamat sudah time saye di lab stable isotope!! Wohoooo! Walaupon sane takde byk keje nak buat sambil tunggu result, tapi best gak. Slalu kot ade orang bawak kek. Haha. Kek petang tadi adelah terbaik! GRRRR! Rase nak buat sendiri plak. U know, I don't know how to bake and I think it's about time for me to learn! Thanks to that cake I had just now in the lab!!! Awww! As far as my thesis lab work goes....things are looking pretty darn interesting! I have a story to tell and I can't wait to tell it! (Next year kot baru bercerita) As of now, I can focus on reading more and more paper on my topic and please please Farisa...write a killer INTRODUCTION! Man, I'm pumped!
So, mana nasik tak masak lagi ni :( Lapau udah. Tadi main ngan laptop baru, lupa masak nasi dulu. Hummm. Makan ayam cili padi nih...Sedap tau Hehe.
Now that Shasha dah dekat UK...die kene laa blaja masak! So, ape lagi...kakak die yang ni laa kene ajar. Tadi dah ajar die gune oven. Humffff
Later yo! If u don't know how to use the oven, let me know. Be glad to teach u Haha
-FZ
Grab it!
Hey guys,
I know it's not summer anymore and it's fall, but that's not a reason not to buy clothes. I hate the fact I have to "hide" what I wear that day under my jacket. So, I don't bother to dress up :P Rather, I kinda invest my money of some nice looking jackets Hah!
Well, here's the thing...whatever up there is just me crapping, as always.
Cik Lynn (McMaster U) wants to get rid some of her clothes! Hah! So, she's selling them at some really really good price. If you are her size, that's just lucky. She has a huge collection of JEANS! I can't believe it! I can COUNT how many I have....let me count for a bit....maybe I have 5 or 6. Hurm. Other than that, she's selling some sweaters, hoodies, jackets (really cool ones!) and some beauty products (ade Victoria's Secret, and sebagai expert VS yang perasan, perfume yang die jual, takde jual dlm Canada. And I have the same perfume, I love it!). Too bad she's not selling her DKNY jacket. Hahaha. That would be a steal! LOL
Interested? go here: www.photobucket.com/pusakkunin
I have a new corner to keep track. And it's Western Gazette Fashion blog :)
They have features on style around campus. Love it. Hehe.
....She looks exactly the same! Cheap chic, Good call. Humff Jacob is so overrated! So is Aritzia!
Too cheap or not too cheap … that is the question by Lauren Pelley
(http://www.uwogazette.ca/2009/10/06/too-cheap-or-not-too-cheap-that-is-the-question/)
Now that Linda is doing what's she's doing...I feel like selling some of my
clothes too. Gile dah bosan dowhh pakai yang sama. Hummffff
Later gators.
-FZ
of caffeine and cigarettes
Jangan tiru macam saye, ini peringatan awal-awal.
I swear my frenemy, coffee betrayed me that night cause I got an anxiety attack, a mild one if you are concern. That night, I had coffee, as I would normally do when an exam is coming up. I don't think I had too much; maybe because I always limit myself to just 1 cup of coffee per day, but I had 2 that day. Plus, I think I have to figure out how much coffee I should put into my espresso maker now cause I have a feeling I put too much....Hummfff....
That night, I was feeling very weird. My eyes were "heavy" as though I drugged myself, and my chest is so tight that after a few deep breath and some relaxation still didn't do. I was very worried. I know it has something to do with that damn coffee. But, it's not like I can reverse it or take anything to reduce the effects. Then, I got some bad news from my friends that made me go emotionally unstable that night. I wasn't crying or anything, but I felt "sebak" and then, I went completely blank. I didn't bother reading anything for my midterm, cause nothing goes into my brain. All I felt at that moment is I want to run. Somehow in that moment, I think if I run...I will feel free again. Free from all that crappy feelings. Seriously, I want to do that but it was 1am :(
I talked to a friend and he helps me to calm down again by talking about our happy stories, so I went to bed feeling a lil better.
The next day, I went for a run. I never ran that fast ever in my life. Somehow my normal speed doesn't cut it, I want to go faster. I was running at 11.5 km/h and that is pretty fast for me as I don't do 11.5km/h for long distance. But, at that moment, I felt so free that I don't even feel tired or gasping for air and my legs just keep on moving. I felt what I want to feel the night before, but at the same time it felt as though I'm running from something. I still can't explain that. But I like how I felt after the run :) Although my face was very red and ....my hair...is all terkeluar2 from tudung, it still feels good.
I was happy yesterday. Plus Kak Asiah masak ketam lemak cili padi, lagi laa kot :P
Hummff, I got an email from my cousin about the best "Stop Smoking" ad. So I just feel like sharing some of the pictures with u guys.
Just ask yourself, do you like what you see here? I don't think so.
Please don't overdose yourself with caffeine. I didn't know about the "anxiety attack" until I was searching why I had chest tightness. I, seriously, could not breathe :(
Later y'all.
-FZ
ps: Shasha dah pon sampai di York University, Alhamdulillah. And I got this photos thru email, so I dont have the reference link for them.
Soup and Snow
Flurries dah turun :)
Dalam sejuk2 ni, makan sup tulang sedap kan?
Tulang dah beli tadi. Tah nape teringin...korupness. Mari try esok utk buat sup itu. Post ni takde apa2 significance pon. Minggu depan ade satu je midterm, so now tgh study. Sabtu ni pegi Corelle nye outlet untuk memenuhi permintaan ibu dan aunty yang sangat suke pinggan mangkuk Corelle. Saye takde laa suke sangat, taram je lahh.
Since dah flurries turun, saye rase esok saye keluar amik gamba :) Kalau takde snow pon saye dh janji nak amik gamba. Bawa camera daddy laa esok. Hehe.
Bye semua. Good luck Gators! I know October is crunch-time.
- FZ
