Play

I may just need to hit the play button just about now.

Today is Awal Muharram. So, Salam Maal Hijrah to all.

As I'm sitting lazily on my bed, I can't help but to look at all my unpack stuff from my previous trip to Labuan last week. Sure I carried a backpack, but still they need to be unpacked pronto! This is when I began to have these thoughts. You know, I'm not that organized after all. As much as I think I made a hell of a planner, I don't jump in when it comes to keeping things tucked in. I rather have my things lying everywhere than to clean them up. My head is messy, no doubt. That is my style. It has to be everywhere or I can't find my things. Ironic, you say? I would agree. OK, now I have something to do over the weekend. Yes, that's justified now!

I met a friend the other day. We talked a lot over dinner at Bubba Gump Shrimp & Co. Since I craved for clam chowder, I opted for that. Nothing too fancy. It wasn't that good, in my honest opinion. The clam chowder in sourdough bowl I had at Fisherman's Wharf, San Francisco was by far the best. Creamy and yummy. This wasn't creamy at all. Haha.

We shared our opinions on things and we shared about our personal lives as well and we had our differences, too.

Back then, at times when life felt stagnant (especially at night) I would randomly search any related quotes and write it out on a small square piece of paper. Then I pasted it on the wall. More so, I at times would sketch anything I felt like drawing and I pasted it on the wall, too. It was the random things I drew or wrote that makes me felt filled up. I told my friend this. And I wonder why I feel so tangled up now with so many issues and dilemma. I was pretty much happy just by drawing and writing something random. He said he knew me as a simple person. Simple needs, simple passion. The kind that doesn't have to be elaborative to make a point. I would stand to his observation because there is some truth in it. My thoughts are more complicated now 'cause I want to believe in my best ability I grew up. But that doesn't necessary translate to my actions. I just don't care if people make wrong translations because it is always hard to right a wrong.

"Apesal eh I got so caught up with life these days", I said.

Now I know, this is part of growing up. There are a lot more things piling up, and they are not just papers as when I was student. If this is what it takes to be a grown up, I would always be reminded of the small, yet big things that make me happy once upon a time.

In One Hundred Years of Solitude, things in life are condemned to repeat themselves.

p/s: I'm 23. And I have a thing for Andy Warhol

*WISHING WALL*