Normal People.

As much as I like to keep in touch with ALL my friends, I find that impossible. The ones I talk to often are those in Canada. It feels as though distance is the reason for being so lost from one another and that I am only living a present life; without even paying my past a visit. Where do I even begin to tell you how bad I feel? or simply how much I miss them now? I do have their facebook and when I look at their new photos, Oh Boy how people have changed over the years and the fact that I don't even get to "be there" in their lives when exciting/good things happen make me sad even more. Sometimes, I get jealousy struck when I saw pictures of their new friends and their new life, but somewhere between the two, I am not included. I'm not supposed to comment on that though, 'cause life is now and you ultimately made those choices to end where it ends so far. But a lil remorse doesn't hurt, no? You know, that small, silly voices at the back of everybody's head that ask all the "what if" questions? Haha. I laugh at my own stupidity at times. Like seriously, how do these "keep in touch" things work anyways? Like comment on a friend's picture once in awhile? or leave a wall? a message? or simply flooding somebody notification with ridiculous application invites?? I don't know my best way yet. I tried commenting on their pictures or send them a message, but the conversation was typical and in all honesty, I hate it. All because it is too all of a sudden to message someone "How are you?". Imagine that after not hearing from a friend for 4 years. Awkward? YES! I want to talk like we used to talk, is that so hard to ask for? It will never be the same again; I feel that already. And along that line, I want to ask, what happened? But it is a question for both sides to answer; so, I'll skipped that. 

Huh, so can I safely conclude that things will never be the same again? No matter how much you care for a person before, it can only go so far. In the end, people changed. I changed. For better or for worst, he/she is still my friend and I want to remember that forever. 

But, I want to restate my first claim. It is not impossible to keep in touch, it is just a two-way thing. I need you, you need me kinda swing. Ahh! Life can be simplerrr right. 

FZ

ps: title yang slightly menyimpang dari ape sepatutnye

I prefer RED

I am blue da be di da be da

If I'm green

I would die

Huh. On that note, GOOD LUCK gators!!

- fz

Estrogen

I cannot remember how we ended up talking about pollution while studying for Metallogeny, but we did and it was ... erm, somewhat informative and hilarious.

It began when I said something about the pollution in Sudbury and that some animals are mutant in Sudbury Lake (don't quote me on this!!). And my friend went, Oh really? 

Then I got rather confused and tried to sway what I said previously because I wasn't too sure myself. Instead, we started to talk about how high level of toxicity in lake can cause some male fish to have eggs and some frogs to have 5 legs (I saw this picture in my Sed Petrology class)! I was laughing so hard already. My friend continued by saying it was the breakdown of bla bla bla bla (I forgot, but I think it's plastic) that release some chemical into the water that somewhat mimic estrogen; thus, the male fish in that water became "female". Weird? It happened yo! And while I think that's hilarious (geez!! so insensitive!), there is a bigger outcome to that. I heard Sudbury has more girls than boys, I said (again, I can't verify this). Then she said, don't you know the ratio of men:women in the world is actually really really low and somehow this "estrogen" pollution has something to do with that. Actually, I do know there are more women to men these days, I knew it since sekolah rendah when I learned about signs of dunia dah nak khiamat. But, of course I didn't tell her that. LOL. Humff, terlupa pula hakikat itu. I guess I have to remember all the poor fish and frogs to remind myself Dunia is about to end. Wallahualam.

So I guess this is the way science explains why there is more women to men? and to me, I do believe science can explain some of the things Allah had outlined in the Quran. Cause they all should tie in. I'm not too sure about this can explain why we have more women today than men, but hey, it is a good reminder, nevertheless.

Well, lets try to control our pollution yer folks! <--- Gosh I have so many things to say bout this issue. If you read March 2009 issue of National Geographic, you will see why I have a lot to comment on! Now no time maaa.....

OK, mari bekerja semula.

Oh wait, it's 2.44am now, I would rather go to bed.

Toodles gators ;)

FZ

Skeleton

Today, I can tell you I feel disconnected. I admit this today for something that has been going on for quite awhile. My mind and heart are not in-sync and somehow, they decided to overrule one another. My conscience is way off, far away I can't tell you where it went. Am I doing fine? You may ask. I'd say YES. I am fine. I believe I am. However, there are these small voices in my head that is pushing me away from myself, stripping my entire "self" and leave only, humff my skeleton? Do I feel vulnerable? Absolutely. So vulnerable that I feel people misjudge me for some expectations they have in me. I feel their trust in me, but at times to live up to that expectation can lead to an agonizing defeat. But maybe, just maybe, that painstaking path is rewarding in the end.  

Maybe I don't sound to well, but hey, I am not here to write about some effing negativity. I don't spread sh*t. People can have expectation in you, but what is your expectation of yourself? What is my expectation for myself? I remember telling people about MISI & VISI when I presented a talk to some form 5 students, one boy told me he doesn't get it. I explained it to him and I wished him good luck after that. Now, I want to ask myself. What is my MISI & VISI? It doesn't seem like that long ago that I "invented" my MISI & VISI. When some of my VISI is deviating off course, my MISI is still the same. 

I'd say I want to live up to the expectations given to me. Why? Cause I know these painstaking journey is rewarding. I want to see the light at the end. Somehow I know, I will regret if I didn't endure this pain and make it work, not for anybody else but for myself. You see, this is an opportunity created for me, I don't see why I should be complaining. So I am not. But, along the way I need to reconnect myself. My brain and my heart has to be in-sync to make it work. Well, that has to be soon. This opportunity will not be great if I do not make it great! Agree? LOL. Hopefully my Xmas will make me excited again. I'm somewhat pumped right now, but I could use some more. Hah!

I took this picture with my daddy's camera. 

Dear Moon, you are too cute!! Please stay like this forever.

(haha, tak Raya laaa macam tuhh)

Later all my gators.

U guys rock!

FZ

Sad SIDENOTE: So, my sister cannot make it to my graduation next year because she has exams during that period. Sad eh? So, most likely it will just be Mama at my graduation. Tengah plan with Ariff for some getaway to Vancouver end of May. The plan is, our parents fly to Vancouver together and we meet them there :) And then, kami jalan2 in Vancouver before my mom and I catch a flight back to London. Aww! So folks, korang tak nak datang my graduation ker? Tak kesian ke dekat Farisa yang glam-rock-the-boat ni?? Humff. (Maybe ayat last tu sedikit gedixxx haha!)

Aidiladha

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha

Eid Ul-Adha!

I hope in the midst of studying so hard for the upcoming finals (humfff!), you would still take some time off to enjoy yourself :) My raya plan? Maybe pegi solat raya (depends, buses are on strike! gilahhh) and then pegi rumah Kak Asiah for some makan-makan. 

And the on Sunday, the mosque is organizing Eid Ul-Adha dinner at Hilton Hotel. I'm going. Oh, that hotel just brings me back to my very first day in London when takde orang MSD yang patut dtg jemput tak muncul2!!!!!!

Well, that's my plan. What's yours? Nevertheless, eat healthy yerr HAHA. Tahun ni tak masak pon. Sigh, tumpang makan jer :D Exam laa katakan.

Have fun!

Later gators,

- fz

who are you?

Care to tell me?

'cause I'm very curious. 

I know I have some regular visitors like Ariff, Ainil, Lynn, Kak Eyna, Irving, Anna, Harun, Annas cause they always leave me comments; other than them, I don't know who you are and I'm quite eager to know. 

So, care to tell me who you are? (a.k.a just leave me a comment or send me a message at facebook, whichever) I don't bite lol. 

Wish you happy happy day readers :)

Later gatorsss!

-fz

sidenote: new love -> amik video diri sendiri menyanyi, sedap laa gak. lol. tapi takde intention nak post ke youtube yerr. 

Loser is a kind word

Oh dear! Seriously, nothing can beat how I feel right now.
I feel like a loser.
I just got back from a meeting with my professor and he handed back my thesis introduction paper. He didn't give me a bad mark, but I still feel like a bummed when he starts talking about some of the mistakes I made. You know the feeling you have when you submit something, you feel as though that piece is the best piece you've ever written. It turns out, it's not. That is how I feel right now. I thought I wrote an amazing paper. I told everybody "I'm super pumped to write the introduction!", and I was. I do believe I put a lot of work into it. However, when I talked to him, I just realise I didn't give myself enough reality check. I'm not trying to scare you of with the intensity of doing a thesis, but I just think I'm not being fair to my research work. Just when I think I did a lot, I didn't put as much effort as I did for my online class (tons of reading to do!). Geez. So, I'm writing here to tell you my frustration with myself. I know my supervisors are soooo into this project and I don't want to dissapoint them. He said himself just now, "I had you in some of my classes and I know how you work, but this intro is not nearly as good as what you are capable of" (something like that). Shoottttt!
Well, I say there is no time to feel like shit. I have no time to spare and by that, it means crunch time starts right now!! I have to reorganize my schedule. Thank you for reading.

-fz

dress me up

12.31am

hoho. i'm super-drifted right now and i dare say, tonight is a total blur. damn, i have a report to submit this friday! and here i am posting pictures of some dresses! heh. 

well, i'm just looking for some inspiration. mana tahu i wanna buy one someday. since i'm planning to go to geoball next year, so kene laa beli kan. heh. 

 

i am in love with this dress :)

ade laa dalam $500 lol

remember icpu prom night? 

kan semangat nak pegi at first smpai laa takde sorang pon kawan nak pegi...i was already looking for a dress with my mom :( tapi tak jadi pegi. haha. well, the one i really wanted was something like this, by melinda looi. 

i don't usually wear dresses, tp i bought one last summer just to try it out. geez. and i must say, i don't really like it cause it can get ugly when the wind blows. nuff said. 

the only long dress i own. 

and this is the only picture of me wearing it. 

ahhh i miss summer time!

ok, i should try to get back to work!

sorry laah, post ni tah hape2

fz

Khas utk Ariff and Annas AWWW!

Hehe, jarang kot letak video :) So, here's some vids that I've been meaning to upload! I kinda want to upload the vids when we were on Maid of the Mist, but I sounded too KEPOH so I refuse to upload it!! Hehehe. Personal interest rules. 

Walaupon title post khas utk Ariff and Annas, second vid tu takde kaitan ngan korang. Lol

Dah lama kot nak letak video ni. 

Tajuk: Aku Sayang Korang. HAHA! Awkwardddddd!

Sorry Arep :D

4450Y Field Trip to Nova Scotia

The party van's official theme song and dance moves!

You'll see some views of Nova Scotia too in this video. Haha

Song: Hot N Cold by Katy Perry. 

Title: Take away the dance floor boys :)

ps: I bought a top from AE yesterday for CAD7. haha I am absolutely in love with the top!

$7 jerrr (dah masuk tax nih) LOL

My super shiny and rock'n'roll blazer. I wore it to my interview last week. Awww~!!

haha, kantoi bilik bersepah2!! well, the clothes u see on the bed are not a week collection of "dirty" clothes okay! I was trying on clothes with my new tights (a.k.a I'm wearing it in this picture)

Okay, I do not wish to say this...but I'm getting more and more comfortable to put up my vain pics. SIGH! well, nak tunjuk kat korang kannn :D

later gators!

any more midterms for u guys?? good luck eh!

utk ainil yang tgh final exam, MAJOR GOOD LUCK TO U BABE!

-fz

OWN IT

That's my motivation for today and maybe for the rest of my fourth year. Who said that to me? Haaa... 

It was from an unlikely person, but nevertheless I'm taking it all in, for sure cause what he said is true. 

....I have to want it and when you get it, own it! 

I guess that is the case for the interview with Petronas as well. The interview was last week, if you've been reading my blog...u would have know that already. It went well, I guess although there are some parts where I wish I could have done better. Right now, I'm suffering from the typical-farisa-syndrome-after-an-interview: I should have say something else AND I could have given another example. The words keep lingering in my head. Seriously, I felt at a disadvantage going into the interview first cause I have no reference or I don't know what to expect. Well, at least I can get it over with and the interviewer cannot compare me to anybody ;)

The structure of the interview has 3 parts, 

1. About yourself

2. Case study (just as Educamp, just no group discussion)

3. Role Play

I did well in 2 and 3, but not about myself. HAHAHA how korup is that? I think I was still trying to be comfortable at that time that I forgot some of the qualities I should be talking about! Aiyaaa. Takpe, I pretty sure she can judge me correctly based from my answers. And I think my experience at SIFT had helped me a lot in my interview because I can give them clear examples of my beliefs, especially when it is related to the industry LOL. So, any geologist wannabes in Canada, pls pls apply for SIFT if you have the chance :) Definitely will look good on your resume and excellent place for networking; and in my case, good during Petronas interview. HAHA

Other than that...gembira utk jumpa my friends aka the Mafia! We played mafia that night and again, for 4 years I didn't get the chance to be the mafia! Damn. 4 years is long bro! Ahhh! And you wouldn't guess this, I changed my game plan. This time, I was more reserved and I would just talk when I need to talk. Hah. It worked! Cause I didn't the chop early in the game Hikssss.

Humff, dah laa malam dinner tu...I wore baju kurung. Obvious kot tak bace email properly!! AHH! I should wear "formal clothes". Nasib baik my kurung wasn't the red one. Hehe. Well, it feels good to be different AWW! For the interview, I go ALL BLACK neck - toe. That was on purpose. Like I said before, that new blazer definitely made me look sharp. Everybody said so, except Ariff : kau pakai jaket mcm nak naik motor... :( je

Well, sorry laa Ariff, blazer tu walaupon kilat...dah ramai yg suke. Aww! Rock-a** outfit tau orang msg sy ckp Hehe. 

Haha, gamba buruk skit... this was taken at 7.30 am kotttt! takleh bukak lampu, org tgh tido :(

OK sekian. FOr more pictures, go check out my facebook album. I can't post the link here somehow Humff

later gators.

FZ